You know what doesn't work? Trying to calm yourself down, or telling yourself it's no big deal. That apparently is the secret -- Brooks' research discovered that the whole "I'm excited" thing works because it doesn't deny the ball of anxiety in your gut is there or try to make it go away. It just tricks your brain into thinking it's a positive.

1 Adding a Reason to Your Request Is a Jedi Mind Trick

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You're standing in line at a Starbucks. A busy-looking suit taps on your shoulder and asks, "Do you mind if I cut in front of you?" A week later, an identical-looking dude does the same thing, only this one says, "Do you mind if I cut in front of you, because I need to get my coffee?" Which one are you more likely to tell to fuck off?

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"Well, I have two middle fingers, so ..."

Of course, your answer is "Both, and if he tries anything, so help me, I will initiate a slap-fight." Ours was, too. However, should this scenario actually happen, a whopping 93 percent of people would let the latter guy get his coffee before them just because he gave a reason ... even if the reason adds nothing to the situation. It's not like they dressed him in bloody surgeon's garb and had him yell something about being late for an open-heart surgery. Just giving a reason -- even if it's stating the obvious -- works wonders.

Why It Works:

The key is that it really only works on requests that don't require a lot of time or effort on the other person's end -- once they have a moment to think about what was said, they usually build up some resistance. But in our day-to-day lives, our resistance is pretty low. For instance, think about how you traveled to wherever you're reading this article now (school/office/company bathroom). Chances are you probably didn't have to think very hard about getting there. It was a familiar route, so your brain operated your body on automatic, leaving you to daydream about whatever bullshit you'd rather be doing. While this is a useful brain-tool to have, it also leaves us wide open to manipulation.

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"Hm? Oh, yes, I'll contribute to Nuke the Whales."

When the brain is in the automatic state, our reasoning becomes simplified, to the point where almost any reason to do something is good enough for us. "Hey, can you move a little to the left so my space orangutan can better fling his acidic poop at the guy standing next to you?" becomes "Hey, can you move a little to the left because of [REASON]?" in our head, and we're automatically all "Sure, cool" and don't think twice about it until the screaming begins. If the favor is a bigger, more inconveniencing thing, the autopilot brain is more likely to nudge us a bit, but even then, it's likely to grant the favor if the reason presented is somewhat plausible.

None of this makes any logical sense, of course -- there has presumably been a reason behind every single request you've ever gotten, even if the person didn't state one. The existence of a reason for their request isn't new information. But it doesn't matter -- if you learn to reflexively give that "because ________" after every request, you'll find the world bending to your will.

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Flimsy rationalizations: the true opiate of the masses.

Paul K Pickett is a Canadian writer. He can be contacted at paulkpickett@hotmail.com. Lacey Pickett is his sister, also Canadian.

Related Reading: You're being brainwashed right now, friend. Chanted slogans have an unreasonably large impact on your mind. And if you ever need to make a courtroom think you're smart and trustworthy, wear glasses to hack their minds. Prefer to brainwash children? You're a fucked up man, but these propaganda comic books should give you some ideas.

Want to know how to fight presidents? Daniel O'Brien can help with How to Fight Presidents: Defending Yourself Against the Badasses Who Ran This Country.