Unfortunately, male-on-female violence is perceived as more serious than female-on-male violence, because a lot of the time, it is more serious. For example, in 2007 1,640 women were killed by their intimate partners, compared with 700 men. And then you have to take into account that 96 percent of intimate-partner murder-suicides are committed by men, and that women are usually in more danger after they try to leave their abusive partners. Domestic violence shelters and other services have limited budgets and staff, and since statistically men are less likely to be maimed or killed by their partners than women are, they miss out on the biggest slice of the domestic-violence funding pie.

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It also means that there is little money left for actual pie, which is sad.

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What We Can Do About It

For a start, we can support more domestic-violence funding. The more money shelters have, the more they'll be able to spend on victims, including those that aren't in quite as much danger but need help nonetheless. The second thing we can do is an extension of our plan from the last entry. America's newly ripped, muscular women should be given training on how to kill their husbands in proportionate numbers to how often men kill their wives.

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"OK, Janet, today's lesson is to make sure you do the murder before the suicide.

You don't want to make that mistake."

This would require about 1,000 more men to die every year, and we'd probably also have to extend the police budget to deal with all the murders, and maybe hire some more of those people whose job it is to clean up blood at crime scenes, but at least female-on-male domestic violence would be taken more seriously, and- you know, we're not really sure this is a good idea after all. Maybe we should instead focus on deconstructing the notion that men are always tough pillars of stoic non-victimhood and that women are weak little flowers, which might allow male victims to be taken more seriously. Wait, isn't that idea pretty similar to the aims of most forms of feminism? There must be some mistake here, because feminism hates men and wants them to suffer. Oh well, we'll get back to this later.