Jamie Shupe was standing before Judge Amy Holmes Hehn in the Multnomah County Courthouse on Friday.

Stunned and doing everything to hold back tears.

"I failed at that," Shupe says the next day. "A short time later and tears were streaming down my face outside the courthouse.

"My lawyer, who had been in the courthouse getting a copy of the judgment came back outside and, realizing I was crying, gave me a big hug."

Upstairs, the judge had just ruled that Shupe, a decorated Army veteran, who was also transgender, would not be required to identify as male or female. Jamie would be able to identify as "non-binary."

Shupe grew up in southern Maryland, cutting tobacco as a teenager.

"It was rural and very conservative," Shupe says. "I was one of eight kids growing up and we were not wealthy. No one during my entire childhood, to include teachers throughout school ever said the word 'college' to me."

Shupe saw the Army as a way out.

"The military seemed like a chance to get away from all of that," the veteran says. "And I clearly didn't fit anyway. I enlisted for a career and to learn valuable skills that, if necessary, could be used in the civilian sector.

"The Army seemed like a good deal. You do 20 years, and they give you a retirement and health care for life. I tested extremely high on their entrance aptitude test and was in great shape from all the farm work etc., so they grabbed me up quickly."

Shupe spent 18 years in the Army, a career that included two Meritorious Service Medals, four Army Commendation Medals and eight Army Achievement Medals.

It was also in the Army that Shupe began to develop a stronger sense of identity.

"I HAD NO CLUE"

Before that, Shupe says, "my mother had already physically beat and shamed any trace of that out of me. It was completely suppressed, and I didn't know what being transgender was anyway. I had no clue such a medical condition existed, or that anyone else like me existed.

"When I was a child no one was gay, and transgender wasn't a word. Being gay meant that you got physically hurt. I never actually met a gay person until I went into the military."

Meeting other gay people didn't mean things would necessarily be easier.

Jamie entered the military before the enactment of "Don't ask, Don't tell," a law that, in the end, didn't make things easier.

"I was then further denied that right to explore my sexual orientation and gender identity because of prejudicial, unfair and outdated policies that were in place during my military service," says Shupe. "So by being denied the basic right to explore these two things because of the generation I was born in and the environment that I grew up in, I was left to explore and discover who I truly am in my 40s and early 50s.

"That's wrong, but there's a lot of people just like me in that same situation."

Despite that, Shupe is fortunate for the opportunities that the military offered.

"I strongly feel that transgender military service is so important to the transgender community because it is an economic empowerment tool that we desperately need," Shupe says. "And I demonstrated that we are highly capable of filling those military jobs."

Shupe had to leave the service in 2000 after a service-related injury, two years before the magic 20. The solider retired as a sergeant first class.

"I WAS SHOCKED"



In 2013, Shupe finally had the chance to transition to transgender. It also meant transitioning from a life that included a spouse of 27 years, something the military did not make easier.

Shupe wanted a new ID card. The Army responded that that would only happen if Shupe got sexual reassignment surgery and Shupe's wife agreed to give up her military benefits.

"I was shocked when the Army made those demands of me," Shupe says. "I filed an IG [Inspector General] complaint with the Pentagon and elevated the conversation to the appropriate level."

After that, the Army saw "what was being done to me and my spouse…and moved to correct and remedy the situation in an appropriate manner. I will state it was a really hurtful experience based on the character of my military service. I never had any disciplinary actions and I was highly decorated."

Shupe would like the Army, if it is paying attention, to recognize something else.

"Forcing gender and sex classifications upon people is not only harmful, it also limits their potential," Shupe says. "The military would have had an even better soldier had I been able to serve openly."

Even after making progress with the Army, Shupe was finding more obstacles.

Living in Pittsburgh, the veteran decided there had to be a friendlier place.

Pennsylvania, the East Coast were a "hostile environment" not interested in taking Shupe's money, with people refusing to do business because of Shupe was.

TRANSGENDER REFUGE CAMP



It was 2014. It was time to move.

"I ended up in Portland by virtue of maps and documents on the Human Rights Campaign website," says Shupe. "A quick look at this map will tell you the safest and most accommodating places in America for transgender people. Portland was a winner. Ronald Reagan said to vote with your feet. I did just that.

"Portland has been welcoming to the point of tears of joy. The Pacific Northwest is however, literally and unfortunately, the transgender refugee camp of America."

Shupe says that is not necessarily a good thing.

"The hostile and discriminatory states in this nation need to realize that they are not about the family values that they claim they are," Shupe says. "What they are about is destroying families. All of the people in the LGBTQ community that have fled here were all once part of someone's family. "

Shupe - who says that the next step after "catching my breath" is to go to the DMV and convince it to issue an identity card that identifies the former soldier's sex as "non-binary" - says Friday's ruling is a big step, but just a step.

"Things are much better now in this country for our youth, but we still have a long ways to go, but at least the knowledge and role models now openly exist."

At the same time, Shupe says, "I feel like at least parts of the nation are behaving as if we live under biblical rules. We don't. And it needs to stop. Being born transgender is not a choice, what religion you are is.

"I respect people's right to practice their religions, and they need to start respecting transgender people's right to exist and live freely, without harassment."

Shupe is still trying to take it all in, put things in perspective.

"Things are very much different for me because my gender identity is such a core part of my very existence, and now it's been completely freed of any restraints or improper classification," Shupe says. "I am now properly classified within our existing binary system. I look at my life more in terms of the past as having been confined to exist as something I was not, and now as being freed from that confinement. I broke the legal definition of male and female. And it was long overdue in someone doing just that."