Hitting all my usual sources for writing prompts tonight took me to the Reverb10 site, where I proceeded to read today’s prompt and practically snarfed my tea. It dealt with avoidance and what things this past year I’ve been afraid of. The short answer: everything. And I’m tantalized by the prompt, like a moth is by a candle flame, but I’m quite honestly not up for burning my wings on that one yet. So the avoidance continues.

Instead, I thought I’d jump into a much easier topic. Religion.

Yes, that’s a joke.

Though, honestly, not really. I have no problem talking about religion. In fact, people’s beliefs and how those beliefs shape a person’s experiences and view of the world is rather interesting to me, and I like to hear stories about why people believe the way they do. The problem I have is that there are very few people who can discuss religion without it degenerating into a spiritual poo-slinging match, where things might start out at the ‘I’d like to hear about why you think that way’ level but so quickly spiral into a frothy ‘Oh, yeah?! Well… your mama!’ place. And while I understand and can even respect the passion behind some people’s fervor for their beliefs, I have absolutely no tolerance for people being mean to others just because they don’t think the same way.

And I don’t just mean in the jihad/abortion clinic bombing/wrecking nativity scenes kind of way, though those are all terrible expressions of mean. I also mean the snarky, passive-aggressive comments wherein people express their disdain for another person’s beliefs and more quietly try and pick apart someone else’s world view just to make themselves feel better. It’s not polite and it’s not respectful. I don’t want to argue about who’s right or who’s wrong, I don’t want to debate tangential details. So, I often won’t even open the topic because most people can’t keep civilized, and there’s enough rudeness in the world.

But, on the Holidailies prompt thread, someone asked, “How do you feel about religion in the holiday season?” and I thought… oh, why not? It’s my journal, and if I get any rudeness in the comments, I’ll just delete it.

So, I am, by my own determination, an agnostic. In my world, I go with the first part of the dictionary definition, which states that an agnostic is, “a person who holds the view that any ultimate reality (as God) is unknown and probably unknowable.” The word ‘agnostic’ comes from the Greek word, ‘agnostos’, which means unknown or unknowable. In essence, I believe that… we don’t know what’s out there, that spirituality is a personal journey that may very well mean something different for every single person, and that no one has any business judging anyone else’s journey. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s really no one else’s business.

And as a grumbly aside, as far as I’m concerned, being agnostic does NOT mean that I’m riding any fences or that I’m refusing to commit to a god or a religion. I *have* committed to my beliefs, quite securely. I believe that we don’t know. That perhaps we can’t know. That it’s a bit arrogant to think that we could know. There are lots of mysteries to the Universe, and I don’t see why this one would necessarily be revealed. Perhaps, perhaps not. In the meantime, we can continue to seek truth and peace and understanding. If you’ve found your truth, then good on you, and please let the rest of us still looking have our room to seek.

With that in mind, what in the world is an agnostic doing, celebrating Christmas? Because I do. The basic part of the answer is that I was brought up celebrating it, by my primarily Catholic and Christian-based family. Though, while most of my relatives claim some sort of Christ-centered belief system, no one really practices their chosen faith or attends any sort of church on a regular basis. I was brought up in a familial culture that celebrated Christmastime as a largely secular event, that instead celebrated family and friends and love and giving. Which, many religions emphasize these things as good, but they’re certainly not the sole property of any canon or genre. I view them as the property of humanity, if anything.

The more complex part of my answer is that, as I’ve gotten older, I can look beyond a specific religion and see the underlying goal. Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ, yes, but more broadly, it celebrates hope and joy and goodwill. And everyone, no matter their spiritual affiliation, can get behind these concepts. I have no problem with people wishing me a ‘Merry Christmas’ or ‘Happy Holidays’, or whatever words they choose, because the words, in this case, are secondary to the meaning and the intention — they wish me well, and why would I disrespect that?

So, back to the original question… how do I feel about religion in the holidays? And I say, as long as the religions in question are practiced with peace and acceptance in mind, I think there’s room for everyone. This country is called “the melting pot” for a reason. There are as many cultures and religions and traditions and nationalities around us as there are families, and I personally think this is one of the best thing about the holidays — everyone, in their own way, seeks to embrace that inner peace, to find those familial connections. And while Christmas started out as a Christian holiday, it has since evolved, in its best light, to include other facets. And I wish more people would accept that.

No, I’m not talking about the commercial aspects — the shop-til-you-drop, go-into-horrendous-debt side of the holiday season that seems to mire so many people. Forking out tons of cash brings no one peace… at least, no one I know. I simply refer to including other traditions, other ways of celebrating, of welcoming in those others around us who maybe have a different way of showing their religion or their beliefs or even their love for humanity. This culture can be so back-asswards sometimes, preaching acceptance on one side but then inventing a ‘war on Christmas’ on the other. It makes me crazy when people say hateful things to each other. If you want to celebrate the holidays in the most religious ways possible, then please do that… but please also let everyone else celebrate their way.

But, then, I’ve been told my whole life I’m too tolerant, too nice. Forever the diplomat. I will certainly defend my opinion, and I have plenty of them, but I don’t like fighting or confrontation. Well, I’d rather be tolerant and nice than rude and mean. And I hope that all of you reading have a fabulous December, wherein you embrace and celebrate whatever is important to you.