Brought to you by the Utah Tourism Board: Part 5: Boss Spiders

Current Score:

Utah: 13 ::: Coloradans: 6 ::: Me specifically: Mr. Bear



Give it up states, I’ve already won this trip.

Before I really get into the description of the RV park, I’d like to preface it by going a little more into detail about the group’s state of mind (as best as an unreliable narrator can).

By this point in the trip we were all thoroughly exhausted, frustrated, filthy, and several thousand percent done with Utah as a whole and while the successful raft run had been a welcome reprieve from the rising tide of bullshit, it hadn’t exactly bumped us back down to pre-bullshit levels of emotional stability.

I also significantly downplayed how difficult it was to for us to get to the RV park. We’d taken a wrong turn down someone’s drive way at almost 11 pm and had sent several tense minutes trying to get the jeep with the camper and Frankenstein with the trailer turned around within the narrow boundaries of some stranger’s private property without hitting their expensive looking piles of crap, their expensive looking garage or their incredibly expensive looking house. Our other notable wrong turn was down a narrow dirt road into nowhere which was also not exactly breezy to turn around on either. All while the drivers followed close enough together to occasionally block the path of one another and constantly blind one another. When we finally did find the right place we pulled in to find that the RV park was more like the vague idea of an RV park and navigable only by with bumpy, washed out roads and people running around yelling “I think this is a spot” and “it looks like there’s a hookup over here” and “STOP STOP STOP… okay one more little STOP! STOP! JESUS CHRIST STOP!”

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