Also see: TEETHERS IV: Revenge of the Unborn

Now that we’ve already figured out how to score the best deals at the Brooklyn’s first Whole Foods in Gowanus, we figured it was time to dig through the store’s more superfluous offerings. We crisscrossed the aisles to find the most embarrassingly nuovo-Brooklyn items that will leave no doubt your shopping cart has been through the trenches of the borough’s modern grocery fare. Behold the most absurd, over-the-top and downright perplexing products we could find in this paradoxically urbanized box store and join the chorus of “why???”

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Vinegar powder:

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An entire wall of local bitters:

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Self-promotional reading material:

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Air-chilled snow water poultry:

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Beet cacao dessert (?)

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Roberta’s frozen pizza:

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Brooklyn gravy (that is also from New Jersey and Italy):

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Locally sourced record jewelry:

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“Slow dried” locally made whole-wheat dinosaur pasta:

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Branded bike beer cooler:

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Fermented probiotic coconut water:

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Up-market pigs in blankets:

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Coffee with a whole lotta words on it:

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Scoop-your-own salt:

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ULTIMATE VAGINAL SUPPORT!!

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Follow Maddie and Rachel as they chronicle the delicious and the ridiculous: @madddesign @rachelevestein

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