Picture this. It is 2005, I arrive for the first time in Tokyo. I am making my way across the busy city to attend a meeting when I encounter a small group of kindergarten children walking home from school. They are oblivious to my presence as they busy themselves crossing streets, picking up autumn leaves, straddling low brick kerbs and chatting. There is not a supervising adult in sight, no older siblings. As a parent I feel a sense of foreboding - I worry about their safety.

I recount my experience to a Japanese colleague and exclaim ''there were no adults watching out for them''. He is a little taken back. ''What do you mean, no adults? There were the car drivers, the shopkeepers, the other pedestrians. The city is full of adults who are taking care of them!'' On average, 80 per cent of primary age Japanese children walk to school. In Australia the figure in most communities is as low as 40 per cent. Why? What happens in Japan that makes it so different?

"Benign neglect" ... author and play commentator Tim Gil is on a crusade to give our children more freedom. Credit:Dave Tease

At a community seminar recently I asked the audience to imagine themselves aged eight in a special place and to describe it. Most recounted being outside in their neighbourhood, with other children, out of earshot of parents: ''I had some bushes where I would play and hide with my brothers and sisters and sometimes friends'' (Wilma, 43); ''My friends and I would go to this vacant lot and build our own cubbies'' (Richard, 36); ''We used to get all the neighbourhood kids together and go out on the street and play cricket'' (Andrew, 39).

Tim Gill, author and play commentator, would call this parenting style ''benign neglect'' and for many of us, growing up in baby boom suburbia, this was our experience. It made us independent, confident, physically active, socially competent and good risk assessors.