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01224 630691

I'm giving this place only two stars, because at least they didn't involve me in an international calling card scam like the indian place did. When I got off the phone with the woman taking the order she said "I can't wait to meet you." I replied "Alright, uhh bye for now.", but the comment left me with an unsettling feeling. Around one hour and forty-five minutes later the buzzer went of at my door and I answered it to the sight of a scantily clad indian woman soaking wet and smiling at me with one of the ugliest set of teeth I have yet seen on this island. "Doju mind I come in?" she asked so I obliged, but as she passed me in the hall I was hit by the bitterest most potent garlic odor which is still there as I write this three days later. "Use your potty?" she continued without waiting for a response. Just like that she was up the stairs and into the bathroom, and I could hear her locking the door behind her. It locks only from the inside, and she took the food in there so I was left waiting in the garlic cloud for about ten minutes before I heard the bath begin to run. As I walked up the stairs I began to also hear the distinct beeping sounds that my cordless phone makes when the buttons are being pushed. I knocked on the door, and asked "is everything alright?", and she responded with the last thing bit of english I heard out of her. Not only did she make some very expensive calls to india, but she also ate almost all my food while she talked, and bathed. I'm renting this place, and didn't want to incur any damages to the bathroom door so I walked over to the neighbors and asked to use their phone because mine was locked in with her. I called the police, and explained the situation. At first they threatened to come arrest me because they thought I was just some drunk american making prank phone calls. After my third call back, they told me they were sending a car to my address, and it wasn't until they got there that they really believed my story. Meanwhile I unplugged the phone so that she couldn't continue to use it which I can't believe I didn't think of earlier. when I heard her say something like "Potetto? Potetto??", and then she screamed and I heard a very loud bang.(which I later came to find was the sound of my phone being smashed against the tile wall) It was shortly after this there was no sound, and when I went out back to look up at the window it became clear that she'd made a rope to climb down on, using every one of my clean towels I might add. Three hours later after the police had cleared out, and the locksmith got there I finally got into the bathroom. I'm not going to go into the full details except to say that because of the unprecedented amount of hair clogging the drains I had to also call a plumber. None of this which my landlord will cover as they claim it's not their obligation because I willingly let this person into my house. On top of this when I went in to Panda Valley they claimed that no indian woman worked there so it wasn't their fault. Then as a result of the confrontation I've been black listed by all of the other chinese restaurants in town. Every time I call one up they tell me "no no you trouble. you no call here. we no make food fo you." Well, at least I didn't go to jail this time. Oh, and don't order the fried shrimp. They come wrapped in pastry dough, and I doubt they were very good because it was the only thing she didn't eat.