Good afternoon, gentleclones!

Having had a quick chat with Mr Wallis today, we can report that a development schedule should be in our hands next week - from here, we can start making plans of what goes to print and when!

In the meantime, I have a feeling you will all want another sneak peek at the rules for Paranoia (such as they are) and, as always, things begin with character creation. This is another excerpt from the player's book...

As before, this is all very much subject to change but it should give you a good idea of the general tone of the game and where the mechanics are headed.

Character Creation

In our experience, here’s how character creation goes in most RPGs:

1. Invite some players round one evening to play Paranoia . Let’s call them A, B, C, D and E.

2. Belatedly remember that A and D aren’t talking after that thing. Try to casually disinvite D. D refuses to take the hint. Try to casually disinvite A. A won’t take the hint either. Sigh.

3. B can’t make it but really wants to be involved and emails everyone asking to reschedule. A says rescheduling is fine, but C and D can’t. E is mysteriously silent. Say no to rescheduling. B is in a huff.

4. C asks if they can bring F. F is a colossal dick who always plays assassins, and who you suspect stole that blue dice. B is loudly enthusiastic about F coming. Remind B that they’re not playing and they’re only getting the message because people won’t trim their CC lists. D messages you to say that if F is coming then they’re out. That would resolve the A/D thing at least but D is a good player and you’d like them there. B doubles down on having F to take their place. Realise B is just being a dick because you wouldn’t reschedule. Start a new email list without B on it and claim your cat is allergic to F. Hope that won’t put C off, because C is brilliant. Really you only arranged this whole thing to have an evening with C.

5. Still no word from E. C points out you’re using an old email for E. Try again with a more recent email. E is enthusiastic but is going to be two hours late because of a thing and is that a problem? Yes, that’s a problem. E says sure, fine, completely understand.

6. Bump into local legend G in a game shop and mention the game. This sort of becomes an invitation. G would love to come, but G is old school and wants to use the original rules. G will only play if you are using the original rules. G wants to bring the character they played for six years in the early 90s, and is it okay if G’s partner H comes too? H is not a gamer, and has a sketchy grasp of English and hygiene. Sigh. Okay. Rebuild the game around G.

7. The evening rocks around. A and D arrive, won’t look at each other, and are both in a foul mood. B arrives because the thing fell through and is that okay? B has brought beer so it’s okay right up to the moment you realise B is still going to be a dick. F arrives, drunk, without C. No sign of C. C is not answering messages. Is C coming? F doesn’t know, and throws a dice at your cat. Cat hides under your bed. G drops off H but has to run because G is going to a Wormharmer game across town. Realise G is an ass. Still no sign of C.

8. Begin character generation. No wait, E’s arrived, didn’t realise they’d been disinvited. Recall that E and H had a thing and it didn’t end well. There is glowering to match A and D’s glowering. All sectors of the room are now radioactive.

9. Everyone is sullen. There aren’t enough chairs, all the crisps have gone already, you realise F has actually eaten one of your dice, and you’re pretty sure the cat has taken a dump in your shoes. C’s babysitter has fallen through and C isn’t coming. The evening is already ruined.

10. Begin character generation.

Skills

Every Paranoia playercharacter begins the game with five different skills, rated from 1 to 5, to indicate things they're good at doing. They also get five antiskills rated 1 to 5 for things they're really bad at. But it’s not as simple as just putting numbers by things. Here’s how it works.

a. The player to the left of the GM – call them I – begins by choosing one of the skills listed on their character sheet to take at level 1. Write a ‘1’ by it. The player on their left – J – automatically gets the same skill, but at 1.

b. J chooses a different skill to take at +1, and the next player – K – gets it at 1.

c. Keep going round the group, slowly building the simmering resentment – ‘What do you mean, I’ve got a negative guns skill?’ until everyone has one +1 and one 1 skill.

d. Then J starts the next round, taking a new skill at +2 and passing a 2 to K; K takes a +2 and passes a 2 and so on until everyone has skills at that level

e. K starts the next round with +3s and 3s.

f. Keep going until everyone has five positive skills and five negative skills, and is drawing little skulls and lightning bolts and decapitated heads in the margins of their sheet..

Some ground rules:

Each skill can only be chosen once per round.

You can’t choose a skill that you already have.

If the players ask why you’re using this system, tell then it’s to create a balanced party group, not because you’re enjoying their squeals of anguish.

Stats

Add up the number of positive skills you have in each of the four skill groups. Ignore skills at zero or below. That will give you four numbers rated from 0 to 4. Pass your character sheet to the dude on the left, who you just watertortured by dripping negatives all over their skill list. They get to choose which of the four numbers goes onto which of your four attributes.

Optimising

Players can boost their characters’ justcreated abilities in two ways:

● They can spend up to XXX Moxie points to raise their skills

● They can burn up to 5 clones to raise their stats

We will have another preview, along with news on production, next week! Until then: Stay alert! Trust no one! Keep your laser handy!