Failures with flatulence? Got issues with gas? Worried about your wind? Well if some newfound internet wisdom is to be believed, it appears you can fight flatulence with fire… So to speak.

If your issue is prevalent and frequent belching of the bowels, the best weapon – aside from healthy eating, sleeping well, being a good person and blah blah blah – is some form of device that creates fire.

Techly contributor Wendy Zuckerman, has explored the topic previously, and the revelations she discovered has led to her carrying either a lighter or matches everywhere she goes to eliminate the smell and the social consequences that follow.

She notes that with the quick and stealthy use of a lighter or other fire device, you can defuse your internal explosions, and the noses of those around you will be none the wiser.

Basically, if you burn your farts through using matches or a lighter, you are not masking the smell, you are actually changing the chemical compound into another, less smelly one.

Sulphur, the primary agent that makes your farts smell, is flammable (actually dangerously flammable if you read some of the statistics).

If you light it up, the chemical process changes it from stinky sulphur to a breath of fresh, if not a little damp, air. Specifically, the fire turns the hydrogen sulphide compound into a combination of sulphur dioxide and water vapour – with the offending smell magically gone.

If only Libyan dictator Muammar Gaddafi had’ve known about this earlier.

While we don’t recommend you carry a lighter around with you at all times like Wendy Zuckerman, we definitely don’t recommend that you don’t. Just be aware that the social stigma that accompanies a sudden bad smell creeping around the room is probably a little worse than the social stigma if a blast of flame appears from under the table at the burrito place.

But, if eliminating the smell is the name of the game, then fire is your friend.

Anyone who knows me, and indeed plenty who don’t actually know me but share enclosed spaces with me, would be aware that I am a gassy guy. My love for beer and Mexican food – compiled with the fact I live in Germany and therefore am unable to order/buy/find any drinkable liquid that is not carbonated – means that there is an inordinate amount of gas in my system. So any means to curb this socially problematic phenomenon are welcomed.

Thank you science/gassy bloggers!

We here at Techly love a good fart story.

We tackled how smelling your own farts may actually reduce the risk of cancer.

We also got knee-deep in a story about a pill you can take that makes your farts smell like chocolate.

Then we clued you in about the brand new fart-proof undies that deodorise your farts for you. For a cool $38 you can pretend to your friends that you have a whoopee cushion back there – all the fun sounds but none of the un-fun smells.

We know that you probably think you are too sophisticated to talk about farting, let alone to think that farts are funny. But, if you aren’t laughing at farts, then there’s clearly something wrong with you. As we heard from the creators of South Park, “fart jokes are like hydrogen as a fuel source. You can keep going back to them forever with no chance of depletion.”

So, if you are too sophisticated for a farty discussion, we are sorry. But if you don’t find farts funny, then it is you that is the problem.

Techly is beyond excited for The Sydney Science Festival, happening in the city from August 13 to 23. Ranging from science’s superstars including astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson, Dr Karl, and astronaut Colonel Chris Hadfield, to great fun for kids and a Maker Faire. Get involved – check out what’s happening here.