Conceptualist Communication

In conversation, Conceptualists try to avoid the irrelevant, the trivial, and the redundant. They will not waste words, and while they understand that some redundancy is necessary they still are reluctant to state the obvious, or to repeat themselves on a point, limiting their explanations and definitions because they assume that what is obvious to them is obvious to others. Conceptualists assume that if they did state the obvious their listeners or readers would surely be bored, if not offended. Their assumption is that what is obvious to them is obvious to others, and the NT style of speech of being overly terse and compact, results in a style that is difficult for others to follow. Because of this reluctance to state which is obvious to themselves, they sometimes lose their audience and then they wonder why they lost their audience.

Many Conceptualists are obscessed with speculative enquiry, so their speech tends to be laced with assumptions and presuppositions, probabilities and possibilities, postulates and premises, hypothesis and theorems. In such speech, data plays only a supportive and secondary role, as does the merely factual. It is this feature of their language-their disinterest in data and factual information-that sets NTs further away from their concrete cousins, the SPs and their concrete opposites, the SJs.

Above all else Conceptualists want to be coherent in their arguments, and so they try to make certain that each phrase and clause advances the argument, introducing nothing that doesn't logically belong, and leaving out nothing that isn't logically required. This style produces carefully crafted communications, NTs tending to qualify their statements with modifiers such as "likely", "probably", "usually", "occasionally", and "in some degree".

Conceptualists prefer to appear unemotional when they communicate (and they can seem rather stiff), trying to minimize body-language, facial expression, and other non-verbal qualifiers as much as possible. But when they become animated their characteristic hand gestures express their need for precision and control. NTs will make one or both hands into claws or talons, as if to seize the idea they are discussing. They will also bend their fingers and grasp the space in front of them, turning and shaping their ideas in the air. They will use their fingers like calculators, ticking off point after point, and they will take small objects at hand (salt and pepper shakers, pens and paper weights) and arrange them on a table or desk to hlep map out ideas. But perhaps the most telling gesture of all is the apposition of the thumb against the finger tips, as if the NT is bringing an idea or an argument to the finest possible point and is savoring the precision.

NTs as a group tend to enjoy playing with words, finding pleasure in exploring verbal intricacies. Convoluted phrases and paradoxical statements fascinate them.

NTs tend to focus on the future, regarding the past as something dead and gone. What matters most is what might be and what might happen next. The past is useful only as a means of giving direction to the future and for deciphering the lessons of history, taking heed to the warning that "He who remains ignorant of history is doomed to repeat it." The NT is never willing to repeat an error.

As the NT speculates about the possible motivations and thoughts of those he is with, trying to fit his experiences into some system he carries around in his head, he sometimes misses direct experiences. He may be so occupied with trying to figure out what is happening as it is happening, that he misses living the event. At times, the NT seems to stand beside instead of in the stream of life, seeming to watch bemusedly as the river flows by-a little distanced, a little detached, a little uninvolved.

At times, an NT can be quite oblivious to the emotional responses of others and may not always be sensitive to the complexities of interpersonal relations. Sometimes, people report that they sometimes feel that they do not exist when they are in the presence of an NT, and they may react to this by hostile attacking comments, directed to the personality of the NT. NTs generally react to these comments with bewilderment and seldom strike back. However, if she is pushed and feels cornered, if the NT chooses, she is quite capable of a viscious biting sarcasm that is uncannily accurate which can be devastating to the person whom it is directed.

NT Conceptualist Mating

Conceptualists make wonderful mates-they are loyal, uncomplaining, warmly and creatively sexual, honest, and aboveboard in their communications, and not in the least possessive. But for all the satisfactions they bring to a marriage, establishing romantic relationships with a Conceptualist usually requires much more energy and time than with the other temperaments. Even the extraverted Conceptualists, the ENTJs and the ENTPs, although apparantly easy to get know, are difficult to get close to, for their personality structure is characteristically complex and, at times, hidden from view. Another temperament may believe that they know or are close to Conceptualist, when in fact, the Conceptualist has carefully and cautiously controlled which parts of his or her personality he has chosen to reveal to other. This results in pleasant surprises for the Conceptualit's mate as sometimes these other, deeper facets of a Conceptualists personality may not be revealed for years.

NT (Conceptualist) Courtship

For most NTs, intellectual development seems to proceed at a faster rate than does the social development-they are often math whizzes and science nerds in high school and college-and they tend to prefer thier books and computers to football games and prom dates. But even in young adulthood, Conceptualists remain somewhat stiff and awkward when it comes to dating, and many show almost no interest in developing social graces or in being popular.

Once in a college or business environment, extraverted Conceptualists might decide (quite deliberately) to date around for the fun of it, and some might experiment with sexual practices. But when establishing more and lasting relationships they are not likely to be given into impulse. Indeed, and as a matter of personal ethics, Conceptualists usually regard sexual promiscuity with distate. Even talking about their sexual experiences is uncomfortable for them, and they are not likely to discuss past involvements with a partner or with others, and almost never discuss thier current sex life with friends. A few highly private, seriously committed relationships is the pattern of an NTs love life, probably because Conceptualists (like many Idealists) tend to develop intimate relationships rather slowly.

Thus, generally speaking, dating for the Conceptualists is neither entertainment (as it is for the Experiencers), social participation (as it is for the Traditionalists), nor deep bonding (as it is for the Idealists); rather dating for Conceptualists is a sometimes difficult search for a person they deem worthy of their personal investment. Wanting always to know what they're doing and where they're going, Conceptualists think through relationships carefully, giving prolonged consideration to thier intentions and expectations. Once the matter has been mapped out to their satisfaction-once their coordinates are clear- they are ready to proceed with investing in the relationship, and, in all likelihood, they will develop the relationship as they have conceived it, provided, of course, that a response has been forthcoming from the recipient. If the relationship calls for a short term involvement, a short term investment is made, and the NT makes sure the temporary nature of the affair is clearly understood by the other party, there is to be no ambiguity in understanding with the other party. Once Conceptualists have made up their search and decided on a mate, they are unlikely to have a change of mind.

Although the Conceptualist mating style can seem over-controlled at times, it has its attractions for the other temperaments. Experiencers admire both the Conceptualist's penchant for effective action and their refusal to be bound by convention, while at the same time they enjoy trying to jolly the NT's up a bit, getting them to stop being so serious and obsessive about their work. Traditionalits's in contrast, think highly of the Conceptualists's seriousness and hard work, and take real pride in helping the lost-in-thought NT's keep their feet on the ground, providing them with an enjoyable, conventional social life. All in all, however, Idealists feel the strongest attraction to Conceptualists. Not only do Idealists share with Conceptualists a rare abstract compatability of mind, a deeply satisfying mutual interest of abstract ideas, but NF's also marvel at the NT's ability to focus and concentrate, so different from their own tendancy to be scattered, divided, and distracted.

Once Conceptualists have given themselves to a mate, they feel pledged to the relationship-with or without a marriage license. NT's often have a curious amorality concerning the generally-accepted standards of mating behavior. The rules and formalities of society have little pressure for them, but their own personal standards of conduct certainly do. Society's seal of approval-in the form of a church ceremony or marriage license-means nothing to them, and will be put up with only to please the family or their mate. The sexual ethics are carefully considered, and strictly adhered to, but may or may not conform to the general mores of sexual behavior current in any given time. In most cases, Conceptualists are not at all reluctant to explore their sexuality once they have committed to a relationship. Not only that, but they can be highly creative and ingenious when it comes to the mechanics of sex, using their highly developed skills of creativity. They will do this though if and only when they have finally reached a high level of intimacy with a partner they trust, which takes a tremendous investment of time and energy by the partner before that level of closeness and trust is attained.