I could never understand English Literature.

Actually, I’m pretty sure a homeless Nigerian transvestite could analyze Shakespeare’s use of onomatopoeia better than I could.

But… here I am, somehow hurling my crazy ass opinions & philosophies on life out there into the big bad world of Internet blogging.

I’d love to say I overcame my frighteningly poor grasp of the English language & deliver a blog post about my journey from suspected-FOB to poetry-extraordinaire. But I can’t. The concept of ‘proper’ sentence structure eludes me to this day.

As much as I tried to subtly sweep it under the rug, people have uncovered my secret. If you’d even call it a secret – it was always more of a slaps-you-in-the-face-like-a-12-inch-dick dilemma from my perspective.

Judging on feedback from my last blog , people aren’t too amused by my slaughtering of the English language. “The worst thing I’ve ever read” was perhaps the highlight of the unimpressed reviews on Reddit. That’s pretty fucking bad then, presuming this reader hadn’t just popped out of the womb and laid eyes on a 20,000 hit blog.

Yet, here I am. Still fucking writing.

I rarely use a paragraph. My sentence structure is horrendous. Some of my posts delve into mini-rants which subtract from the general point I’m trying to make. From a grammatical standpoint, it’s just one big fucking mess.

People will continue to berate my style of writing. English-degree graduates will never cease their rampage of insults towards my work, writing scornful messages of hate towards me whilst they munch on crumpets and sip tea.

Contrary to what most people would believe, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest. I’ve grown to love the criticism.

It’s a huge step in my mentality, considering I once had huge social-anxiety & was constantly worried about what other people thought of me. It was by no means easy, but I overcame that mentality.

There’s a hugely popular saying in the self-help industry that goes, “If you keep doing the same things you’ve always done, then you’ll keep getting the same results you’ve always gotten.”

That’s exactly how I managed to develop the hater-free mentality I now embody – I changed what I was doing. I changed the thoughts I was thinking & the way I perceived reality.

This is by no means a self-indulged rant where I leave you feeling lost & bemused, so I’ll go into detail on some mindsets which helped me conquer my hater-anxiety (each part comes with a WARNING to make them idiot-proof):

Self-Amusement

Whatever you’re doing, self-amusement is key.

If something isn’t fun for you, then why would you continue doing it? Enjoy the process. Enjoy the fuck-ups. Enjoy the criticism. Revel in it. Embrace it. Life’s too short to nit-pick the negatives from every ounce of feedback you get in life. As long as you enjoy what you’re doing, the feedback is irrelevant (to some degree, but we’ll get to that later).

Create the mentality that you are the man. Why? Because you are the man. Literally. You’re the boss in your reality. Why let somebody else come into your reality and tell you what’s right and what’s wrong? Fuck that. Be the high-status guy. Be the judge of what’s worthy, funny & important in your reality and what isn’t.

As long as you have confidence in your actions & your perception of reality – it will manifest itself. Whatever you’re doing, rock the shit out of it – regardless of what people will think. You’re the man, remember?

WARNING: Don’t be an idiot. If whatever you’re doing is completely fucked up & whack, adjust. Use your brain. Make sure it’s within reason.

Value your self-worth

Don’t seek approval for what you’re doing.

As long as you’re sharing who you are & are confident in your own self-worth, nobody can bring you down. Don’t ponder whether people will think it’s okay. Don’t stay awake at night wondering if you’re breaking social norms. Just do you & own that shit.

WARNING: Probably best not to dust off the birthday-suit every day just because you ‘feel like it’.

Forgive

“Forgive them, for they do not know what they do” – Jesus Christ

Perhaps the biggest key is to not take it personally. Don’t be angry because somebody chooses to lay a mountain of insults on you for no apparent reason. Forgive them.

It’s not your fault. If they choose to do that, it’s not your problem. When someone acts in a certain way, it’s because of their belief systems. It’s not even their fault. They’ve been conditioned with these beliefs since birth. You can’t possibly know the belief system in their head which is making them do what they’re doing, so forgive them. It’s not their fault, and it’s definitely not yours.

WARNING: Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself. If somebody is being completely out of line, know when to find the balance between tolerance and non-tolerance.

DGAF

You have to take risks in life to move forwards. Unfortunately, when you take risks not everybody will love you. That’s just the way it fucking is. If you don’t like it, don’t take risks – enjoy a life of constantly trying to please everyone else whilst neglecting yourself.

When you take risks, detach yourself from the opinions of others. No matter the feedback or how other people interpret what you are doing, maintain a detached attitude. Don’t get emotionally drawn in by what others have to say about you. Stay true & focus on yourself, regardless of the feedback you’re getting.

WARNING: Give the RIGHT amount of a fuck (see bottom).

Give YOURSELF some love

Remain focused on yourself. Maintain your own confidence throughout whatever you are doing.

Give yourself some love. Create things you do everyday that help you maintain a beneficial opinion of yourself & feel good. Meditate, exercise, eat good, control your thoughts. The haters can’t touch you when you build up walls of good emotions within.

WARNING: Don’t mistake ‘giving yourself love’ for jerking off 3 times a day. A penis resembling a Peperami will not protect you from haters.

Give the RIGHT amount of a fuck

There’s 2 types of DGAF-attitudes that are negative, rather than positive.

Firstly, don’t develop a DGAF attitude just to escape reality. Often, people will say they ‘Don’t Give A Fuck’ but continue to complain about almost everything around them.

Use a DGAF mentality to maintain & love the person you are regardless, rather than using it to cover up your deepest fears & anxieties.

Secondly, don’t be a crazy motherfucker.

There’s a sweet spot in not giving a fuck which makes it so effective. On one side, there’s the people that give way too much of a fuck. These people constantly worry about what society will think of them & rarely step outside of their comfort zone because of this.

On the other side of the scale however, there’s that criteria of crazy motherfuckers that just repeatedly do the same things over & over. They haven’t learned to LISTEN to feedback. They don’t realise that underneath all of the negativity & hate, there could be an opinion which could benefit them.

For example, when I was reading through feedback, I was able to gauge what I needed to work on to improve my blog. I didn’t become pissed off & go on rants telling people they were fucking idiots. I knew that underneath some of the negativity, there were ideas which I could use to my advantage. I studied other blogs & took note of writing styles. I re-arranged this blog to be as coherent as possible.

I LISTENED to what people had to say & used it to my advantage.

I love my haters.

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Thanks for reading. Like what you read? Follow me on Twitter @TRRyanPotter for updates

Have any feedback or need advice on personal issues? I’d love to hear from you. E-mail me at (ryanpotterblog@gmail.com)

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