Ooh cats... nasty buggers, lemme tell ya. I remember a few years back when I was in the same position. My friend was taking a vacation in Yucatan and she asked me to watch her cats. She had 11 of them. ELEVEN CATS. Why would you want 11 cats? I will never understand that. But anyway. I woke up one morning to find this orange tabby sitting on my throat. Scared the **** out of me and I made a sudden movement so he left some marks...



The next night I couldn't sleep right because I was afraid the same thing would happen. I closed all the doors and windows but I swear those darned cats have a way of disassembling themselves and then reassembling in a different location or something because there's no way to keep them out of anywhere! So there I am, trying to sleep, hugging the covers in close to me like a child afraid of monsters under the bed... and then I see them. The eyes. They kept accumulating... first it was just 8... then 10... they just kept coming out of no where! I assumed they must have been angry with me because of the way I threw off the tabby, and they were coming to get their revenge.



But I'll tell you what--cats... they hate wormwood. I mean hate. Like... they wouldn't touch a sprig of wormwood with a 100 foot pole. It's a long story about how I came to learn of this... but that is for another time. So here's what you do. Every town has an apocathary. Go to your local apocathary and ask the person behind the counter for wormwood. They won't take you seriously because wormwood is technically illegal (it's what's used in absynth for example... it's the hallucinogenic stuff), but if you tell them that it's for fending off feral cats, they'll know you mean business. They'll probably take you into some back room (some places have really cool hidden rooms where you have to turn a fake wine bottle door knob and stuff like that) and that's where they hide all the illegal stuff. They'll give you a little jar with some wormwood in it, and they'll name a price (since the stuff is illegal, it's all going to have to be under the table so it's not traceable). Some people are pretty reasonable, others are greedy and see an easy way to make a profit since they can't report the income from this transaction. Whatever the cost, you're going to have to accept it or face the cats because the people who tend to work at apocatharies usually aren't very friendly and are not open to haggling.



So once you have the wormwood, find some twine or something and hang it from the ceiling. You can be sure that the cats will never bother you again.



To answer your question fully, yes the cat is probably trying to kill you. Cats are famously heartless, bloodthirsty beasts. But follow my directions precisely and you should make it out alive.

Source(s): Experience. Anonymous · 10 years ago 1 Thumbs up 0 Thumbs down Report Abuse