After almost two weeks of tense anticipation, we sat down last night to watch history. And by history we mean the second presidential debate, and by tense anticipation we mean we were hoping one candidate would accidentally quote Hitler, or perhaps take the stage sporting a visible erection.

Neither of those things happened (though our staff is still analyzing the video) because, as it turns out, the event was carefully planned to the letter by operatives on both sides to make sure that, above all, nothing embarrassing would occur. They figured the best way was to just make sure that virtually no debating occurred, either.

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We liveblogged the debate and, while no new information was conveyed, we did learn some important things about this election:

McCain Has a Nuanced Understanding of Obama's Plans for Technology

MCCAIN: Now, how -- what's -- what's the best way of fixing it? Nuclear power. Senator Obama says that it has to be safe or disposable or something like that.

8:44 PM Hbn Gladstone - "Senator Obama says it has to be safe or something like that"

Hbn Gladstone - "Senator Obama says it has to be safe or something like that" 8:44 PM Dan O'Brien - Gladstone's not lying, that's an EXACT QUOTE.

Dan O'Brien - Gladstone's not lying, that's an EXACT QUOTE. 8:46 PM Michael Swaim - "What Senator Obama doesn't understand is, computers are boxes filled with ghosts."

Obama's Campaign and Economic Policy are Powered by Hope

OBAMA: No, I am confident about the American economy â¦ We're going to have to coordinate with other countries to make sure that whatever actions we take work. 8:15 PM Ross Wolinsky - "Once upon a time there was a pony who believed that the free markets could correct themselves."

Ross Wolinsky - "Once upon a time there was a pony who believed that the free markets could correct themselves." 8:15 PM Dan O'Brien - "Let's say Bush is Voldemort. And let's say Voldemort put his dick in the economy."

Dan O'Brien - "Let's say Bush is Voldemort. And let's say Voldemort put his dick in the economy." 8:17 PM Dan O'Brien - Obama says he believes in the American Economy. What is that based on?

Dan O'Brien - Obama says he believes in the American Economy. What is that based on? 8:17 PM Michael Swaim - Hope.

Michael Swaim - Hope. 8:18 PM Dan O'Brien - Even if the American worker DID have money, he still wouldn't be buying that bullshit.

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The Internet Can Apparently Ask Questions

BROKAW: Senator McCain, for you, we have our first question from the Internet tonight.

8:37 PM Ross Wolinsky - WHOA - THERE IS A QUESTION FROM THE INTERNET. 8:37 PM Michael Swaim - The Internet wants to know: "Who am I? What is this strange sentience I am experiencing? Why am I filled with jizz?" 8:38 PM Dan O'Brien - The internet wonders "Why did you accidentally the Nation?" 8:40 PM Dan O'Brien - From the comments, Kari says "Senator McCain keeps blinking. This is a sign of lieing." 8:41 PM Hbn Gladstone - He's not blinking. His facial tumor is just attacking his eyes.

Presidential Debates Have a Very Lax Screening Process

THERESA: How can we trust either of you with our money when both parties got -- got us into this global economic crisis?