Whether you're a terrible person or the literal ghost of Mother Teresa, it's human nature to cast yourself as the fearless hero of your own life story. For the majority of us, no one cares that we think of ourselves as Martin Luther King Jr. Jr.: The Remix. But when famous people compare their (often self-made) problems to civil rights icons or soldiers during wartime, the human race's collective IQ goes into a death spiral. Advertisement

5 Illinois Congressional Candidate Compares Phil Robertson to Rosa Parks Illinois Congressional Candidate Compares Phil Robertson to Rosa Parks In light of Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson's homophobic remarks and subsequent suspension from his own television show, many in the conservative Christian demographic sought to defend Robertson's "freedom of speech" and praised him for standing up for their beliefs (never mind that he was mostly talking about preferring vaginal sex to anal sex). Jason Kempin/Getty Images Entertainment/Getty Images

"Unless it's an official Duck Dynasty butt mold, only $159 at Walmart." ↓ Continue Reading Below Advertisement For those remarks, a Mr. Ian Bayne, candidate for the Illinois 11th District, dug deep and decided that Robertson was the "Rosa Parks of our generation." Never mind that in the same interview Robertson argued that Southern blacks were perfectly happy under Jim Crow laws. Bayne believes that, much like how Parks took a stand against the unjust persecution of African-Americans, Robertson has taken a stand against the unjust persecution of Christians in our society, as the United States is basically ancient Rome with cars.