Yeah, but what if you didn't? And what if he didn't want to settle down with you? You've assumed that because he married the woman he met after you that he would have also married you if you'd have just let him, and you couldn't possibly know whether that's the case.

Regardless of that, though, you made the choices that were right for you at the time. Your head was in a different place. THAT'S OKAY. Every single choice we make is a life-altering decision. You're in a different place now. There is no one but yourself stopping you from finding your new perfect man. 8 years means a lot of change and a lot of growth. "What ifs" keep you stuck in the past. It's a safe place because there is nothing you can do now. But, as you know, it also sucks. Because there isn't anything you can do about it.

We all do the best we can, and do what feels right when we are making choices. That's all we can do. But when you are weighing your options for future choices, you can look back and think about what you have done in the past and what you wish you would have done differently.

I didn't take the opportunity to move away from my hometown when I had the chance a few years ago. I made that choice because I was with a man I thought I would marry. Leaving my hometown would have meant leaving him. I was scared and confused and didn't want to lose him and so I chose to stay. Yeah, that was a poor choice. He and I will not be getting married, he was not the man I thought he was. I should have chosen differently, but I didn't. How could I have? How could I have known what was going to happen? But instead of wondering what might have happened if I had left then, I promised myself that I was done with the easy way out. If it was a thing I wanted, a thing to advance my education or my career, I would do it. It's never too late, you are never too old, you are going to be okay without this man - as long as you can put him in your past and keep him there.

And look, you also said somewhere up there that you don't so much miss him, as you want to be settled down. So I'll leave you with this: what is it about the idea of this guy that you think you can't find in some other future good man? Is there anything specific about him? Because you can totally find a good man to love you and nurture you and be there for you who is also right for the person you are now, not the person that you think you might have eventually become after settling for someone that you weren't really into because he had a good cv.

I wish you all the best. I really do. I hope you can get out of this place and get to a place where you can find the man you want. Because you deserve it. You deserve that way more than you know. You didn't ruin your life. You simply put it on a different path. <3