As we moved away from "doctor knows best" and "one-size-fits-all," there were more and more choices for parents to make. There was also a growing anxiety that giving your children the absolute best—whatever that was—was crucial for their success. As the economy of the late 20th century became more "winner take all," middle-class parents worried that any minor decision they made might be the make-or-break thing that got their child into A Good College fifteen years later. But what IF that jarred baby food has too many pesticides and knocks five points off little Emma's IQ and she winds studying communications at a party school? Maybe I ought to make the baby food myself?

These days, even the experts play down the value of expert advice ("'What I learned from attachment parenting is that there is no expert better than me for my baby,'" writes attachment parenting guru Dr. Sears, approvingly quoting one of his own followers). It is expected that parents will educate themselves about every aspect of child-rearing and decide what's right for their particular family. Today, many middle-class mothers-to-be come to the hospital clutching individualized birthing plans ("no Pitocin...perineal massage rather than episiotomy") that attest to the kind of medical knowledge once only held by OB-GYNs. Parents of young children are conversant in the ins and outs of Montessori versus Waldorf versus unschooling, in the differences between spoon-feeding and baby-led-weaning, in the vagaries of the CDC's suggested vaccine schedule (but does the DPT shot feel right for OUR child?).

This growing anxiety has dovetailed with another anxiety-based phenomenon: the DIY food and homemaking movement of the past decade or so. Amid fears of food contamination, concern for the environment, and general anti-corporate sentiment, progressive middle-class Americans had begun taking an earnest interest in where their food and consumer products came from. Shopping at the farmer's market and canning your own jam became marks of distinction among the educated and affluent, and making your own baby food or concocting "green" cleaning supplies out of white vinegar became commonplace among concerned moms and dads. The rise of things like home birth and homeschooling have certainly been influenced by this DIY ethos as well: If you don't trust institutions, you do things yourself.

"The only way to know what's in your food is to make it yourself," a 20-something mom recently told me.

Additionally, there's the current cultural climate of extreme individualism. Americans have long tended to value individuality, creativity, and independence over tradition and collective good, and this tendency has risen to ever-higher levels since the sexual revolution and other cultural upheavals of the 1960s and '70s. For a superficial example, look at weddings. Fifty years ago, a wedding was largely a matter of custom. A bride would choose her own dress and wedding colors and flowers, but the gist was the same from celebration to celebration. Today, weddings have become tributes to a couple's uniqueness, from self-written vows to "signature" cocktails invented just for the occasion. White wedding cake? Boring. How about volcano-shaped cookies to represent the couple's first meeting climbing the slopes of Mount Kilimanjaro?