terms of service trigger warning disclaimer acceptance agreement:

in no way do we condone anyone jumping from the skyway bridge or any other land based structures of height, without proper safety procedures, equipment, and permission from authorities, whomever they may be. do not become a statistic on this stupid website. get help! we do not want you to jump. in fact, we are anti-jumper . really, we mean it. come on, we're serious, stop laughing. anything and everything shown within this website is intended for informational purposes only.

this site may not be a fun place to visit if you have been affected by suicide in any way or are otherwise easily offended by facts, opinion, reality, or adult language. if this is the case, please do not enter, just go away. text and imagery found within this site may be offensive and insensitive to some soft visitors.

many of our postings, such as 'jumpers', 'possible jumpers', and 'saves', are reported by anonymous reporters. these 'facts' can be facetious, nebulous, and/or clever fiction. do consider any and all statistics and 'news' as unconfirmed, unless verified by official sources. this website is not to be taken as an official accounting of any activity whatsoever, concerning the skyway bridge.

many comments on skywaybridge.com are submitted by visitors to this site. any and all remarks are the sole opinion of the comment submitter. skywaybridge.com neither agrees nor disagrees with any particular comment made and takes no responsibility for said comment or opinion. other than deleting last names, personal attacks on jumpers, and/or adult words, no edits are made to these comments. any and all responses to said comments are ours and we agree to all of those, even if we fabricate blatant fiction in the name of satirical theater. ~)

this website is best viewed on the internet. your paranoid browser may take issue with our use of non-malicious javascript and active-x gimmicks. relax. we make no attempt to identify or harm you or your computer/device in any way. we are google verified and safe.

links found on this website may stop working over time or may direct you to web pages found outside of skywaybridge.com. you may find these other web pages even more distasteful and offensive than this one. click at your own discretion. skywaybridge.com is not responsible for the content found on these other websites, your excessive caloric intake, your complete absence of common sense, your want of socialism, your obsession of porn, your drug and/or alcohol dependence, your poor driving skills, your staunch allegiance to either of our two lying political parties, your blind dedication to a nonexistent god, your lousy self-image, or your children's lazy attitude, lack of ambition, and disrespect.

your employer may not approve of you poking around here while at work. do not bring grief upon yourself over this ridiculous website. use your own judgment and some common sense as to how, when, and where you view this site, as well as those that may view you viewing it. only you are responsible for any negative outcome. if you are dominated by political correctness, bail now, as there will no doubt be something that some whiny sjw will find offensive and could possibly attempt to destroy your life over it. schadenfreude is running wild! get back to work and return here later. remember, " arbeit macht frei ".

while we work hard at practicing correct grammar and spelling, we do employ the annoying habit of avoiding capitalization. please take this into consideration as we condemn others for their mistakes.

this website engages in animal testing. it may contain peanuts and was created in a facility that consumes peanuts. it is genetically modified, non-vegan, and non-gluten free. not responsible for lost or stolen articles. contents under pressure, do not puncture or incinerate. do not expose to flame or store above 120°. for external use only. choking hazard, not for ages under 3. smoking and open containers are permitted. you may wave your gun in the air like you just don't care. clothing is optional, but please use a towel if you're going to sit down. items on the screen may be more sarcastic than they appear. we practice diversity by mocking those unlike ourselves for our own amusement. this site may irritate your politically correct mind. ask your psychiatrist if skywaybridge.com is right for you. best if used by 04.20.20. this site is void in rhode island. we accept all competitors' coupons. cash value 1/20¢.