Natalie Hampton

In middle school, I went through a severe bullying experience in which I was verbally bullied, cyber bullied, and physically attacked. Apart from the violence, one of the worst things was having to eat lunch alone and the embarrassment of having others see me eating lunch alone. After I changed schools, and landed in a much kinder community, I would always invite people to join my group whenever I saw someone eating lunch alone. Some of these kids, one girl in particular, are now my best friends, whom I never would have met if I had not invited them over. I later learned that one girl who I had invited over had been struggling with self-harm and thoughts of suicide at that time. Finding new friends changed her mind and changed the course of her high school path for the better. I saw firsthand that one small act of kindness — something that may not have meant much to me at the time — made a huge difference in her life.

I decided that I wanted to effect this kind of change on a larger scale, so I created a free lunch-planning app called Sit With Us (http://www.sitwithus.io) that helps kids find allies in their schools and safe places to sit at lunch. I believe that every school has upstanders like me who want to take an active role in improving their community to make it more warm and welcoming. Something as seemingly small as lunch can make huge strides in making a school more inclusive because if kids are more kind to each other at lunch, then they are more likely to be kind in the classroom and outside of the classroom.

The way Sit With Us works is that users download the app and create a profile page with a photo, bio, and list of interests, like any other social network. Users must input their school name and address, so that lunch events are sorted by that geographical location. They are then offered the opportunity to be a Sit With Us Ambassador for their schools in which they sign a pledge to post open lunch events from time to time in the app and to make anyone who joins the table feel welcome. If a kid is looking for a place to sit, he or she can simply open the app and find a table to join under the “featured events” tab without any fear of rejection. Instead of holding up a sign that says “lonely kids eat here,” it is all very discreet, and no one will know the difference. At my former school, if I had been able to find one ally, I believe I would have had a different experience.

I released the app for iOS in the Apple Store in September 2016 and the Android version in February 2017. Since inception, I have gained over 100,000 users in eight countries worldwide, and it continues to grow every day. Sit With Us is the largest club on my school campus, and I see so many smiling faces in the lunch area every day. To my surprise, the app is being used for lunch and meeting planning by adults in colleges, places of worship, conferences, and large workspaces (such as nurses in hospitals). The app has been featured by under “New Apps We Love” in the Apple Store, has been covered in international media (print, TV, and radio), has garnered numerous awards, and is included in three museums (including the Smithsonian). I was named 1 of 25 Women Changing the World by People Magazine in the November 13, 2017 issue.

I have been invited to speak at many large conferences, including the UN Youth Assembly (from the podium in the Great Assembly Hall) and TEDxTeen. I also speak at local schools and in public libraries. I receive messages frequently from people all over the world, either saying that the app is helping them make their lives better or thanking me for providing an effective tool for kids to make their school communities more kind. Recognizing the effectiveness of my solution, six prominent anti-bullying organizations are partnering with me, including PACER’s National Bullying Prevention Center, Champions Against Bullying, and United Against Bullying. I formed a nonprofit (Sit With Us, Inc.), and my company has received grants from Samsung, Disney, Youth Service America, Ryan Seacrest, and others. I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity to have met so many teenagers who have similar stories to mine, and my goal is to help make exclusion a thing of the past for all of them.

This pivotal experience of my life has taught me several important lessons that I try to share with others when I am doing community outreach. The first lesson is that you are never too young to make a difference. When I initially presented the idea to my parents, they looked at me like I was crazy. And yet only one year later, I am running a global nonprofit and leading a movement to spread kindness. Sometimes what may seem impossible at first is truly very possible if you put in the effort to make it succeed. Second, I want people to know that whatever they are struggling with, they are not alone. When I was being victimized, I thought that nobody else in the world understood what I was going through. But now that I have been able to connect with people through my app, I have found that so many others out there have stories so similar to mine. We are living in a world filled with humans seeking a connection, so no matter what, people need to know that they are not alone. My third and final point is to remind people to choose kindness. It’s up to us to make a difference in our communities — to leave the world a better place than how we found it. Having been on both sides, the person who was excluded and the person who invites anyone sitting alone to join the lunch table, I know that my app can make a difference. I believe that if we spread kindness out into the world, it comes back to us. Even if you don’t use the app, you can embody the spirit of Sit With Us by inviting someone who is sitting alone to join you. You never know — your future best friend might be sitting at the next table, and Sit With Us can help you take the first step.