Night 1

Right, dat should do dat shit. throat clear Yo dawwwwg! Glad ta peep you're hustlin there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Da name's Fritz, n' welcome ta tha Popgoes' Pizzeria. Da next generation of lil playas entertainment son! As you already, you'll be guardin dis place until 6 up in tha morning, n' as yo' boss, I'm obliged ta help you KNOW yo' thang n' tha tools you'll be allowed ta use durin tha shift. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, first thang's first. I'm gonna be honest, yo' current setup might not be hella...optimal, so ta say. I didn't have time ta prepare a thugged-out designated room fo' you up in tha location so you'll just gotta manage wit rockin one of tha Internizzle Cafe monitors near tha stage next ta tha gang. Don't start complainin just yet, I've set a spot near tha window fo' you, biatch. Even looted a gangbangin' fan! Anyway, tha beeper you have up in yo' hand...it's probably used by lil playas durin tha dizzle fo' game n' whatnot yo, but I've sorted up tha securitizzle application dat only activates durin tha night, which is when you're here, obviously. Everythang you need fo' yo' thang is locked n loaded ta use. Go on, press some buttons muthafucka! Yo ass can check all tha rooms wit set cameras dat is connected online n' tha ventilation too! sigh Alright, I know what tha fuck you're thinking. First night on tha thang, I'm ramblin a funky-ass bit, it's a shitload ta take in. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. And fo'sho, I know there be a funky-ass bunch of anthropromorphic plastic muthafuckas round you watchin you work. Trust me when I say I know how tha fuck dat feels. Yo crazy-ass imagination might git a tad bit outta control. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stress do dat ta you, biatch. But don't worry dawwwwg! You're straight-up safe here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. I've built dis place from tha ground up ta be one of da most thugged-out transparent, real n' safest places on Earth, unlike....some other bidnizzes. If you eva start feelin anxious, lookin up tha window or just...y'know, takin a look outside should calm you, biatch. That tendz ta work fo' me at least. Right, back ta tha anthropromorphic muthafuckas. I'm shizzle you already guessed by now dat these is our animatronic characters. Top of tha line technologizzle dawwwwg! Honestly, tha name "animatronic" don't do dem justice, they're mo' like....multi purpose robots, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. They can be programmed ta do anythang I can be thinkin of. They pretty much run dis place now, nahmeean, biatch? Of course, again, they is straight-up harmless. They aren't physically capable of hurtin anybody. Made shizzle of dat mah dirty ass. Ugh, I feel like I might be goin on fo' too long. Last thang on tha list: Yo ass may have noticed dat dis be a pre-recorded message, which means if you wanna ask a question, you won't git a answer n' shit. But hey dawwwwg! To fix that, I've given you some options. I stayed up all night ta set up a simple Q&A session ta [unknown]. When dis call ends, yo big-ass booty is ghon git 3 topics ta chizzle from n' when you chizzle one of them, another audio of mine will play ta help explain whatever you wanna know mo' about. Quite nifty, right, biatch? Obviously, not like as much freedom as a aiiight beeper call yo, but it'll gotta do fo' now, nahmeean, biatch? Well that's it fo' yo' first night. Peep dem cameras n' don't forget ta take a funky-ass breather once up in a while. Yo crazy-ass 3 options should appear...now.

Night 1 - What tha fuck iz tha "ROOM SHUT-DOWN" button?#

Ah, aiiiight son! Yo ass wanna learn mo' bout yo' thang, that's good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Well as you might have noticed, you can reset any electronic or wireless connections up in 6 of tha pizzeria's rooms by rockin yo' phone's "ROOM SHUT-DOWN" button. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I added dis feature ta yo' beeper ta ease tha thang of havin ta fix any tech related problems dat might crop up durin yo' shift. Y'know, so you don't gotta go there n' manually fix dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So if you peep tha printas goin awry or something, just push dat button n' wait all dem secondz fo' all tha systems ta go back online. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feelin dis shiznit! Bear up in mind, technical faults almost never happen here, so I straight-up doubt you'll need ta use it dat much. Oh, n' don't worry bout breakin any machinery. They'll just go back ta bustin they aiiight activitizzles tha shuttin down proceedure is complete, which be bout 5 ta 10 secondz long fo' realz. Alright, well, that's yo' first night. I'll do tha same thang fo' you tomorrow. Yo ass know what tha fuck ta do. Dope night, kid.

Night 1 - What is tha robots capable of bustin?

Yo dawwwwg! Dope ta peep you wanna learn mo' bout mah crew. If you paid attention ta mah first message, you must've heard mah crazy ass say dat these robots can do pretty much anything, yes, biatch? Well I wasn't clownin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This place is straight-up automated n' run entirely by dem wild-ass muthafuckas. No human hommies az of yet. Don't need them, straight-up. Da staff room exists ta keep tha ventilation openin outta hustlas. Cooking, cleaning, printing, struttin, takin care of kids, etc, etc, it's all down ta tha cartoon muthafuckas fo' realz. All straight-up efficient. Yes yes y'all. cough Did I rap dat I built tha charactas too, biatch? That's what tha fuck tha 3D Printas was originally for, before they was repurposed ta do tha same thang but...a shitload smalla n' shit. really awkward laugh Didn't need mah playas fo' dat either n' shit. Designed, printed, put together all by yours truly. Relyin on other playas is nonsense, I rap , biatch. Of course, don't let dat discourage you from bustin yo' thang. There is always exceptions. Right, uh, that'll be it fo' tha straight-up original gangsta night. I'll do tha same thang fo' tomorrow. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See ya, kid.

Night 1 - How tha fuck is dis place durin tha day?

Da Popgoes' Pizzeria. Well shiiiit, it is straight-up is something, right, biatch? Which make dis a pimpin' broad topic ta rap bout yo, but I bet you can just guess how tha fuck most of it works by takin a peep tha place. Though I straight-up "the next generation of kid's entertainment" soundz dull, it aint nuthin but a gangbangin' fittin motto. When a kid opens tha door, they can grab a WeaselWare beeper from one of tha shelves n' play round wit dat shit. Da beeper will connect ta a monitor like yours yo, but durin tha dizzle it'll let tha lil playas play games, make thangs wit tha 3D printas ta paint on, use a shitload of tha repurposed arcades, etc, all of dis n' no staff required. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yes, Popgoes n' tha crew keep tha lil pimps n' tha shiznit safe at all times. If they peep a kid gnawin on a funky-ass beeper or a wire, they'll just take it away from him, git tha muthafathas n' sort all dat shiznit out. Of course, that's not every last muthafuckin thang but these options is meant ta be short so I'll try ta be mo' specific wit tha other set of thangs. That's it fo' tha straight-up original gangsta night. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See you tomorrow.

Night 2

Right, hey again! Second night yo. Hope you've gotten used ta yo' thang by now, pressin buttons on a phone. You'll have shiznit findin a thang dat straight-up requires you ta be on one of dem fo' realz. Anyways, I expect efficient use of dat phone, [unknown]. Oh, n' I'll let you know now, don't start slackin off. I'm payin attention. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Afta yo' first week is done, I'll be bustin a review of yo' progress ta peep if you're fit ta continue or not. If you do yo' thang especially well, I might even hit you wit a funky-ass bonus muthafucka! Ah yo, but I guess there isn't even dat much fo' you ta do. I know I haven't given you much ta work wit just yet, as dis is just a test run. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But there is suttin' fo' you ta do if you git bored, I suppose fo' realz. And since, well, I'm not goin ta treat you like dem robots behind you, biatch....so, we're enterin tha Winta time. I imagine you'll be hustlin just next week, so it's goin ta git pretty darn cold fo' you, biatch fo' realz. And I'm shizzle you've already noticed dis from yesterday, I dunno...I have given you access ta tha ventilation system, which means you should be able ta turn on tha heatin grid once up in a while ta warm up tha place. They'll stay up fo' a minute, probably yo, but that's long enough, right, biatch? Bear up in mind tha vents go round tha perimeta of tha building, so....ah, I'm shizzle you'll figure it out. Well, dat should keep you entertained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Gotta hope you're as easily pleased as I am. That's all fo' tonight. Oh, wait, no, it's yo' turn ta talk! Here you go.

Night 2 - Why can't I keep tha heatin on tha ventilation?

Ah fo'sho, as I holla'd, you're only allowed ta have dem hustlin up in 1 minute bursts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. It's not dat I don't trust you, it's...everybody can make mistakes, right, biatch? These thangs overheat if they're left on fo' longs periodz of time n' I can't risk dis shit. We all know what tha fuck happened ta that...attraction last year. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I...I remember I hit dat shiznit fo' tha similar problem, yknow, bein under constraints like that, I dunno. Dat shiznit was fine. I was fine n' I'm shizzle yo big-ass booty is ghon be like a muthafucka. Nothang fucked up bout vents, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. What is I saying...just check on tha heat sometimes n' yeaaaa you'll have limited use over it n' I'm sorry bout dis shit. Right, peep you tomorrow.

Night 2 - Can't tha robots sort up tha heating?

I don't know, they already do all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Yo ass be thinkin I'm gonna bust dem up tha fuck into vents n' turn tha lasers on manually every last muthafuckin time one of mah thugs gets chilly, biatch? Alright, I'll admit I did try dat up once wit one of tha squirrels yo, but...come on, let's give dem mo' shiznit ta do! These muthafuckas is already busy enough durin tha day, they deserve a funky-ass break. Durin tha night, Popgoes n' tha others is supposed ta be, yknow, resting. Oh, n' Stone tha Crow up in tha hoopty park, his schmoooove ass can't physically move outta his bird cage, so he's pretty much restin all tha darn time biaaatch! Anyway, tha vents is fo' air ta travel round tha building. Well shiiiit, it could be fucked up if one of mah thugs, especially a plastic covered robot, was ta git stuck up in there or if they touched one of tha heatin lasers. It's pretty easy as fuck .. n' you KNOWS you'd have funk wit it anyways. Just git dat done n' you should be aiiiight fo' realz. Alright, biatch? Excellent. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See you tomorrow, kid.

Night 2 - How tha fuck do tha heatin work?

Ah fo'sho, it do look kindof weird, don't it, biatch? Well, as wit all of tha other systems up in tha buildings, I've designed dem heatas mah dirty ass. They're just straight-up thick laser beams goin from one phase of tha vent ta tha other n' shit. Yo ass should be able ta peep a square rim round tha vent section wit a light dat switches between red n' green. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. That rim is what tha fuck keeps tha lasers stable. When they're on, tha lasers heat up tha air that's constantly goin round tha vent system. Keeps almost every last muthafuckin human occupied room up in tha location warm. Well, except mah crib. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Speakin of which, can you peep where it is, biatch? If you be thinkin it's up in one of tha cameras, well you're wrong. I'd don't give a fuck bout bein recorded all day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Yo ass can guess how tha fuck much work I do up in there n' bein on camera would only interrupt dis shit. I be thinkin it's tha only room dat isn't surveyed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Oh n' tha bathrooms aren't either of course. If you still can't peep mah crib n' you straight-up wanna know where it is, just look ta yo' left. Da door's right there next ta Popgoes' stage. That's bout dat shit. Try up tha heatin n' I'll peep you tomorrow.

Night 3

Right, cough Wuz crackalackin' again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I be thinkin I should start off dis call by pointin up dat I straight-up done cooked up a gangbangin' fuck up in mah previous message which was yesterday's main recordin fo' you, biatch. I holla'd dat tha heatas up in tha vents stayed on fo' a minute when you turn dem on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In reality, I have juiced it up closer ta like...9 secondz or suttin' so, uh...sorry bout dis shit. Not a big-ass mistake yo, but I should own up ta it anyway. It's one of tha only one thangs I haven't gots freestyled down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I should straight-up cook up a note of it now, I suppose. note makin noises Kinda chillaxed up in dis biatch, I've been bustin all these calls up in one take, so I've just noticed dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Such a big-ass difference like a muthafucka. 1 minute should be 10 seconds, geez, I'm a idiot sometimes. Yo, now dat you've been here for...2 nights, erect, biatch? Beginnin yo' third one now, yes?...tell me, what tha fuck do you be thinkin bout tha place, biatch? Da pizzeria, I mean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. It's real special. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Let me rap , durin tha dizzle you can straight-up feel dat shit. Da fantasy. Da fun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da safety, yknow, biatch? Kidz can run down tha halls n' be greeted by tha characters. They gather round n' rap wit dem on tha stage, they...build n' print up these...figurines like posable toys fo' realz. And of course they git ta paint them, coat dem up in [unknown yo, but I be thinkin it's bindin agent], etc, make dem feel grown up. Makes dem feel special, yknow, biatch? laugh I remember dis kid one day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Straight-Up [unknown] there was dis kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude was hustlin round n' somehow managed ta open one of tha locked rooms. Boy it's gettin hot, yes indeed it is. Da server room, I be thinkin it was fo' realz. And da perved-out muthafucka started messin round up in there biaaatch! Well I was up in mah office, as always, n' I peep dis kid on tha camera. I start ta git a lil worried. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "Ah, here we go again," I'm sayin ta mah dirty ass fo' realz. And I was bout ta go git his ass sorted up mah dirty ass yo, but...right then, as I was takin mah jacket off...Blake, dat badger characta ta yo' left, gets up in tha room n' starts ta play a lil game rockin tha Server Room's monitors yo. Have you, yknow...you know tha game "Semen Says", biatch? Well dat shiznit was like that, he just turned the.....oh..uh...hold on now, I'll sort tha rest up later n' shit. I'll leave dis message here, tha options should be up fo' you now, nahmeean, biatch? Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry bout all dis bullshit.

Night 3 - Yo ass betta continue tha story?

Yes, fo'sho, tha story. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry bout before, I had ta take care of something. Well I don't remember exactly where I left off yo, but tha kid ended up likin Blake like all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Da rest of tha day, he just kept pressin his call button, tha yellow one ta tha left of tha monitors, ta git his ass ta come closer n' play they game. It's moments like dem dat can make you smile, yknow, biatch? Gettin ta use these charactas ta make dem as aiiight as they made mah dirty ass. That's straight-up somethang fo' realz. At least, I hope you feel tha same way, I know you're not here durin tha day, so I suppose you'll gotta take mah word fo' it when I say it's pimped out fo' realz. And tha kid I mentioned has been a loyal hustla since. Though I don't straight-up gots nuff props fo'usin dat word. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! See you tomorrow.

Night 3 - What tha fuck iz Semen Says?

Oh, you don't know what....the game is. That's...alright, no matter n' shit. For a quick explanation, it's a game where one of mah thugs shows you a cold-ass lil colour, like, yknow, green, yellow, red, n' you gotta repeat tha same colour back ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sometimes there be multiple colours which you need ta repeat up in tha same order back but up in tha case of Blake n' tha pimp whoz ass was like lil' there was only one. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry if dat wasn't dat phat of a explanation but it's just a lil playas game, not a god damn thang mo' n' mo' n' mo'. Durin tha dizzle you can play it on one of tha monitors here wit dat panel up in front of you, biatch. Bit mo' fucked up than just a cold-ass lil colour appearin on tha screen yo, but, yknow, same concept. They use tha beeper fo' dat like a muthafucka. That's childrens stuff, though, don't let me down wit you playin game durin yo' shift. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Speakin of work, you should git back ta dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See you tomorrow.

Night 3 - What was you just bustin?

Nothang major, straight-up, mah brutha was just askin me whoz ass I was poppin' off to. I've holla'd at you bout him, right, biatch? Da order of these calls might be a lil' bit confusin later, dependz on how tha fuck I organize dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Right, bustin lyrics of tha order, I be thinkin I'll also leave a option ta finish off dat rap I was spittin some lyrics ta you bout fo' realz. And dis one should be ta explain why I left, just so you don't git suspicious dat I'm hidin anythang from you, biatch fo' realz. As I holla'd on tha straight-up original gangsta night, I'm tryin ta be as transparent as possible wit mah bidnizz here, so coverin shiznit up wit mah hommies obviously wouldn't do. Right, I be thinkin that's it fo' tonight. Dope luck on yo' shift.

Night 4

Wuz crackalackin' again, I’ve decided ta take some breaks between recordin these calls. Not nuff is left yo, but still I’d never be thinkin it’d be dis stressful naaahhmean, biatch? I’ve just gots some notes, not a script or anything. I feel like I might be poppin' off too much bout thangs dat is obvious ta you so I’m just gonna win dis one. I be thinkin at dis point you’re pretty Kool & Tha Gang wit yo' thang now, if you could even call it dis shit. I be thinkin now might be a phat time ta learn a lil mo' bout mah dirty ass. I gots a gangbangin' feelin dat you might be curious, is I wrong, biatch? Right then, I started doin thangs up in November 1968 up in Texas, lived a gangbangin' fine game up until mah teens yo. Had no real problems wit mah crew yo, but we weren’t exactly rich. My fuckin daddy was a architect all up in tha time n' mah mutha stayed home wit mah brutha n' I. Until tha 80’s, our slick asses lived up in tha "flats"...or I suppose it would done been called a crib over there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Dat shiznit was pretty decent I be thinkin but, straight-up I can’t remember much. I had a accident up in mah teens, shiznit I…really don’t aint gonna ta rap about. Please don’t ask. I might explain it up in a lata call or suttin' if there is sighs time fo' realz. Anyway, fortunately, I survived tha injury, believe it or not. Dat shiznit was all down ta a straight-up generous donor of blood. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Da whole thang was pretty strange n' fucked up but all I know was dat a lil' small-ass crew of people, or maybe dat shiznit was just one thug dat was willin ta give tonz of blood ta tha hospitizzle n' afta a entire encyclopedia of signed papers, tha transfusion was allowed on behalf tha procedure bein a experiment. I was close ta dirtnap, bear up in mind. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I lost most of mah memory before tha incident n' tha whole event caused a big-ass stir up in tha media. I was 18 n' wit tha state I was in, tha paparazzi wasn’t tha dopest treatment, you know. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So I sorted suttin' up wit mah muthafathas n' we moved here ta England. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! So, uh, on top of bein a securitizzle guard, you can be a gangbangin' playa like a muthafucka. I wanted ta git these stories off mah chest fo' a while cause it’s, uh, I don’t have nuff playas ta share dem with, n' mah daughter’s kinda busy most of tha time ta one of mah thugs I need ta rap to, n' of course, dig. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So go ahead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! What do you wanna rap about?

Night 4 - How tha fuck can you afford all this?

Oh yeah. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So dis place looks hella high-rollin' ta run I’m sure. Especially fo' one person, right, biatch? Well, it is. Thousandz of poundz put up in n' outta dis place every last muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! It’s a lil independent café kind of thang yo, but tha technologizzle do make it seem professional, I suppose. Money isn’t straight-up a issue ta me no mo' I’ve sold shiznit before tha pizzeria mainly based round robotics, machinery n' whatnot, n' of course tha pizzeria itself brangs up in a thugged-out dope amount of chedda ta go back ta tha ingredients, electricity, shiznit fo' tha printers, etc. I mentioned earlier Popgoes do most of tha work, so I don’t need ta hire a cold-ass lil cleaner or a cold-ass lil chef. I also gots a thugged-out decent amount of scrilla from tha injury. I can’t remember how tha fuck dat worked yo, but I’d rather stay tha fuck away from mentionin it up in case dat shiznit was a gangbangin' fuck up n' they want it back fo' realz. Anyway, hope dat cleared it up, phat question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See you tomorrow.

Night 4 - What else have you made?

What else have I made, biatch? Hmm… Sigh Well dis recordings system’s over 5 minutes left on it but, I still be thinkin there’s enough time ta cover every last muthafuckin thang I’ve made. It’s been a hell of a phat hobby fo' a thugged-out decade now, nahmeean, biatch? I’ll try ta go over a shitload of tha mo' bangin-ass thangs though cause I gots dem finger-lickin' chickens wit tha siz-auce. In 2019, I done cooked up a self-rollin hoopty up in mah garage. Da technologizzle isn’t dat impressive nowadays, I know yo, but dat shiznit was a dunkadelic feat. Looked like garbage yo, but it worked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Since then, its been modified ta be road safe n' now mah daughta uses dat shit. Back up in tha late 90’s, I made all dem electric boomboxes n' sold dem ta a secondary school n' up in 2016, I done cooked up a vizzle game wit Bonnie’s help. Oh, Bonnie’s tha name of mah daughter, not shizzle if I mentioned dis shit. Oh yeah, n' of course I’ve made tha 3-D printas recently, which help me print smalla plastic parts fo' projects n' toys n' whatnot. That’s straight-up it, don’t be thinkin dat I should mention anythang else n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do yo. Hope dat clears it up. I’ve been a real busy muthafucka. I gots a straight-up boner fo' bustin thangs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See you on yo' fifth night playa!

Night 4 - What inspired you ta start tha pizzeria?

Ah, sick. I wanna bust a nut on answerin dis question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Although mah daughter’s tha only one whoz ass straight-up asks or has even been given tha opportunitizzle to. I’ll let you up in on a secret, not a funky-ass big-ass one yo, but I be thinkin it might be bangin-ass ta a outsider n' shit. Da charactas you peep round here weren’t originally goin ta be fo' a pizzeria! Crazy, right, biatch? They’re colorful cartoon muthafuckas wit pink boomboxes n' yellow eyes. Well, it’s true biaaatch! they originally had a straight-up different purpose. I git nightmares pretty doggystyle. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stupid shiznit like goin ta tha zoo or standin on a tall building. I’ll chill like a pimp dat night n' raise up in a cold-ass lil cold sweat from a nightmare on some cold-ass lil creepy porcelain doll. It’s ridiculous fo' realz. Anyways, not a shitload of medication can’t help wit dat sort of thang so, fo' all dem months, I tried a psycho route like…a mystic or religious kind of solution. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat shiznit was recommended by a gangbangin' playa I was rappin ta online n' it hit dat shiznit but, only once. Da scam was dat if I pimped n' designed a scarecrow kind of ornament dat was entirely designed ta fight what tha fuck I was havin nightmares of, then it would step tha fuck up in dem nightmares n' fuck wit it up in a sense of tha fear from its core. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, fo' example, if I had a nightmare of fallin from a pimped out height, then bustin a model of a trampoline up in tha real ghetto might help git rid of dat fear up in tha nightmare ghetto, do you understand, biatch? Anyway, I ended up bustin a load of these scarecrow designs yo, but only one of dem straight-up makin moves fo' realz. At dat time, I heard bout dis auction thang goin on up in America. Travelled over there n' ended up buyin some thangs. One of which was a funky-ass basebizzle cap dat used ta belong ta a gangbangin' hyped pizzeria characta which, caused a lil' bit of controversy up in tha area. I looted tha remainz of a oldschool busted robot n' based tha gang round it, n' a funky-ass box filled wit the…parts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I have dem here up in tha attic fo' realz. Anyways, from there I thought ta mah dirty ass, ''What if I started mah own pizzeria n' chizzled tha remainin scarecrows tha fuck into cartoon animatronics?’’ And well, I did hommie! Of course, since they’re garden muthafuckas n' not straight-up designed ta fight mah fears, they never straight-up helped git rid of mah nightmares so I still have dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Da oldschool scarecrow designs was scrapped, can’t remember what tha fuck I did ta dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Quite a funky-ass backstory, huh, biatch? I hope dat shiznit was interesting. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. See you tomorrow.

Night 5

Sick work kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Only all dem minutes left of yo' shift. Maybe if you’re supa good, I’ll let you mess round up in mah crib n' hook up a shitload of WeaselWare’s features. Though, it’s not dat bangin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass might be able ta control tha gang n' peep what tha fuck they can do, I don’t know, maybe not, we’ll see. I’m wondering, since I can’t remember how tha fuck much I’ve taught you up ta dis point...do you know bout Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, biatch? I be thinkin these calls might be gettin ta mah head but, uh I don’t know. I’ve been thankin of dat place a shitload mo' than usual fo' tha past minute or so. Not up in a gangbangin' finger-lickin' disturbin or freaky sense but, I’m not sure. It’s like some pieces is bein put together n' shit. Freddy Fazbear’s. Yo ass know they used ta say dem charactas was hustled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. There was some murdaz relatin ta tha location back up in tha 80’s. Muthafuckas found some corpses buried up in tha animatronic suits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Straight-Up sad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I was a gangbangin' hustla of dat franchise, named mah kid afta one of tha charactas there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Not cuz I was a gangbangin' hustla straight-up yo, but cuz… sigh ...well, cuz I wanted ta ludd dat name again n' again n' again after... sigh it don’t matter n' shit. I was a gangbangin' hustla of tha restaurant n' it hurt ta peep it fall so morbidly, that’s all. I wonder sometimes if there was some moral reasonin behind whoever capped dem kids. I have mah own suspicions as well as hundredz of other people, you know. Yo ass should peep what tha fuck these playas put online. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feelin dis shiznit! There’s a ghettofab theory goin round dat tha muthafucka whoz ass done did it had purple skin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Straight-Up purple skin n' purple clothes. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Soundz like a thugged-out demon or something, right, biatch? Somethang paranormal, I don’t know. But round dat time is when I gots help from one of mah thugs up in tha hospitizzle. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. We, uh, don’t know where tha blood came from It’s all…what if he…What if dat shiznit was him, biatch? Oh god, dis is ridiculous. I'm sorry bout dat bullshit. It’s times like these where tha nightmares sometimes visit me durin tha day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Ask me a question then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it might calm me down.

Night 5 - What do playas say bout tha murderer?

Muthafuckas online (snicker)with all seriousnizz of events, has become a funky-ass big-ass topic of rap fo' playas horny bout dat kind of thang of real game mysteries n' stuff. Da murdaz of Freddy Fazbear’s Pizzy was such a gangbangin' finger-lickin' diverse n' confusin thang all up in tha time that, playas is still findin clues n' makin stories bout it ta dis dizzle dawwwwg! Now even a amusement park attraction was centered round dat shit. Da main theory dat was surroundin dis muthafucka was dat da thug was a menstrual patient on tha loose. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Stabbed lil playas wit a cold-ass lil cake knife or something. It, technically, can make sense yo, but it’s pretty boring. I gots a straight-up boner fo' a phat horror rap n' that’s not how tha fuck you tell one, know what tha fuck I mean, biatch? They found suttin' like, 20 lil playas stuffed up in tha suits over tha span of tha company’s run which is…crazy. One is crazy, I know yo, but 20 is just…why, biatch? There has ta be a reason fo' that, mo' than just dat da thug was a menstrual patient fo' realz. Also, we thought da thug was purple. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Someone found a thugged-out drawin dat a cold-ass lil lil pimp had done at one of tha pizzerias flossed a purple git into in tha background. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I’m pretty shizzle dat was tha only evidence fo' dat yo, but dat shiznit was enough fo' me, And, uh, you know, tha rest of tha theorists, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. I straight-up don’t delve too deep tha fuck into dis kind of thang. Okay, well, that’s it fo' todizzle. It make me wanna hollar playa! See you again n' again n' again tomorrow.

Night 5 - What tha fuck iz yo' connection wit Freddy Fazbear's?

I be a gangsta yo, but y'all knew dat n' mah connection, biatch? Well, I used ta live up in America. Yo ass know, they was a funky-ass big-ass thang over there, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Every kid loved livin near one n' almost every last muthafuckin one I was playaz wit had some kind of toy of a cold-ass lil character n' shit. Dat shiznit was a pimped out place which is why I primarily started hustlin there I... sigh god… I hit dat shiznit at Freddy Fazbear’s, yes. Though dat shiznit was many, nuff muthafuckin years ago, mind you, biatch. They had loadz of different locations, mo' than a average independent restaurant. Each buildin had a exclusive characta wit its own toy, I think. Dat shiznit was like a cold-ass lil collection thang so lil playas had ta git all up in every last muthafuckin Freddy Fazbear’s up in tha area ta finish tha set of figurines or plushies or whatever n' shit. Dat shiznit was smart-ass n' I’m shizzle it did wondaz fo' dem scrilla-wise yo, but I can’t help but wonder how tha fuck fucked up tha system would done been fo' a cold-ass lil lil pimp on tha skankyer side of town. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Although tha charactas had smalla cameo editions based on tha restaurant you was up in n' they was always tha main four muthafuckas which was up in tha adverts n' on tha billboardz n' on tha pizzy boxez of course. Freddy Fazbear, obviously, Chica tha Chicken, Foxy tha Fox n' there was also, uh…a bunny rabbit called Bonnie. These four charactas was big-ass where I lived, way bigger than Ronald McDizzle or Colonel Sanders, you know, biatch? My fuckin past wit tha location is pretty personal, so I’d rather not go on bout dat shit. Not dat I’m hidin anythang from you, it’s mo' fo' mah own sake. I don’t straight-up gots nuff props fo'to rap bout dat no mo'. Not even ta mah daughter n' shit. I’m shizzle dat from tha figurines round tha location, you can guess dat I own like all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! See you tomorrow.

Night 5 - What tha fuck iz WeaselWare?

Oh, right. I forgot ta rap bout one of da most thugged-out blingin thangs dat keeps dis place hustlin. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So, WeaselWare be a operatin system wit tha name pimped by mah dirty ass. Straight-up simple, straight-up nifty system. Well shiiiit, it links almost all of tha machines up in dis place. If you have access ta it, you can control almost every last muthafuckin function or other thangs wirelessly. Cameras, vents, printers, even Popgoes his dirty ass. It’s a reprogrammed version of suttin' else I used ta work on. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Originally I used it ta track investigationz of DNA round tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I juiced it up ta find one thug up in particular. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I mean, it worked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Anyway, dat turned up ta be illegal, which I KNOW but, thankfully I wasn’t busted ta prison, they just holla'd at mah crazy ass ta stop rockin dat shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. So yeah, dat shiznit was chizzled ta run a pizzeria instead. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I mean, of course, up in it’s current state, there be some locked features. I can’t let a kid mess round wit tha characters. I’m tha only one whoz ass gets full access. But, again, if you show some station effort, maybe I’ll hit you wit some mo' freedom ta mess round wit yo' phone. Maybe, you’d like ta print yo ass some figurines, biatch? Well, we’ll peep bout dat soon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Goodnight, kid.

Night 6

Yo, uh, there be only all dem minutes left of recording. I was thankin bout some thangs, since dis was mah last message. I feel like I haven't been real enough wit you, biatch. I've been trying, please know dis shit. But some thangs is just...ugh...I gots a question fo' you, biatch fo' realz. A serious, underground question. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I'll try ta set a example. There's this...thug that's straight-up close ta you, biatch yo. He's recently been acting...strange, maybe a lil' bit freaky. Muthafuckas say he's done wack thangs. But...you've trusted his muthafuckin ass. For all yo' game yo. He's been listenin ta yo' problems n' you straight-up look up ta his muthafuckin ass. Even if dis thug has made big-ass mistakes up in his wild lil' freakadelic game, if da ruffneck do regret it up in tha end, would you be willin ta forgive dem if you know whoz ass he is, biatch? Would you look past his wild lil' fuckin errors and...try ta brang his ass back tha fuck into yo' game, biatch? Do you think...you can trust him?....no, dis will do. Nuff props fo' hustlin wit me all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! This is tha end of yo' shift all up in tha Popgoes' Pizzeria. Let me know yo' answer.

(Special props ta /u/TheGuyWhoDoesAThing fo' tha Night 4 n' Night 5 transcripts)