[Satire]

Acting on an unverified source, BuzzFeed came alarmingly close to releasing an incriminating exposé on Donald Trump and an alleged 1987 plot to kidnap his then-wife Ivana for ransom money, only for the plan to be scrapped after collapsing into a fruitless and inept killing spree.

But they were promptly informed by a 37 year old intern that it was just the plot to Fargo, reset in upstate New York. A senior editor from BuzzFeed admits that they were about to pull the trigger on the story when the observant near-employee pointed out several inconsistencies and haunting similarities to the 1996 dark comedy.

The editor, who begged us repeatedly to remain unnamed, told Live Free and Think:

“I’ll admit, we really felt like we had something big, and we felt an obligation to release it to the American people, so they could make their minds up that it was true.”

The oddly still employed editor continued: “Once we were notified that it was just a modified retelling of a cult classic crime film, we had to begrudgingly honor journalistic integrity and hold the story. However, we have also put up a link where readers can send us any info they have that could verify the story. I think it’s very important to the notional victims of the possible killing spree that we do that.”

Squirming in his seat after an especially long and awkward pause, he went on to suggest that even without having seen the movie, there were some suspicious aspects of the account that had him questioning its authenticity as he frantically copied and pasted it from a proton email he received from ‘NarutoFap666’.

“I suppose some details of the timeline didn’t add up. We couldn’t confirm that Trump had ever run a car dealership in 1987, but we just assumed it was one of his kooky side projects. It’s a shame too, because we were really moved by the account of then-pregnant Police Chief Hillary Clinton, pursuing the case and arresting one of the murderers. I think the world really missed out on an inspiring message for women.”

The BuzzFeed editor acknowledges it as a teachable moment, but remains resolved not to learn a goddamn thing.

“Of course, in hindsight, literally none of those things are possible. But the fact-checking process can be a real hindrance to publishing, and we like to streamline the process by imposing that responsibility onto every last one of our readers.”

After speaking with BuzzFeed, Live Free and Think managed to arrange a Skype call with the prankster who leaked the story to BuzzFeed. In between violent fits of gasping laughter, NarutoFap666 explained to us he never thought the story would make it past their spam filters, much less make it within a razor’s edge of being published. Right before his mother called him away for dinner, he expressed his amazement that BuzzFeed still hadn’t noticed that Steve Buscemi’s character was never substituted with another name, and actually still was Steve Buscemi in the altered story.