Pokémon League

A huge door opens at the end of the great hall, with nowhere else to go I head right on through. One last elevator takes me to a grand chamber. Far above me is a domed roof, ornately dressed. The walls are lined with stained glass windows depicting what I guess to be moments from Kalos’ history.

On the opposite side of the arena stands a woman who I presume is the champion.

Oh it’s you. Uh, I mean, welcome challenger. I am Diantha, the champion of the Kalos League.

I notice a familiar looking silver orb on the floor by her feet.

- Okay…

Sure you are, dear.

If you defeat me here, you will gain entry to the Hall of Fame.

Whoever she really is, she seems to be playing nice so far. I decide to play along.

- That’s the plan…

Are you ready?

- I’m not backing down now.

Go Hawlucha!

- Go Zuul!

- Thunderbolt!

Swords dance!

Zuul points a single finger at hawlucha and fires a lightning bolt at it, striking hawlucha between the eyes. Hawlucha flops to the floor.

Go Tyrantrum!

- Dazzling gleam!

Crunch!

Zuul lets out a blinding pink flash that somehow causes tyrantrum to collapse to the floor.

Go Gourgeist!

- Shadow ball!

Phantom force!

Zuul flings a dark orb at gourgeist that implodes on impact, dragging gourgeist into nothingness.

Go Aurorus!

- Sludge bomb!

Reflect!

Zuul vomits a huge glob of corrosive purple sludge over aurorus just before aurorus forms a barrier around itself. It seems aurorus was poisoned by Zuuls attack and it starts to whittle away at it’s health.

- Shadow ball!

Light screen!

Zuul throws a ball of darkness at aurorus, imploding in it’s face. Aurorus forms a second barrier around itself while the poison continues to erode it’s innards.

- Shadow ball!

Diantha sprays a bottle of full restore on aurorus while Zuul throws another shadow ball but the implosion is dampened by the barrier around aurorus.

- Zuul return! Go Velen!

Blizzard!

As Velen leaves his pokéball he’s blasted by blocks of flying ice.

- Brick break!

Thunder!

Velen leaps towards aurorus and gives it a swift chop to the back of the neck, shattering it’s barriers at the same time. Aurorus collapses to the floor.

Go Goodra!

- Velen return! Go Zuul!

Focus blast!

Goodra launches a bright ball of energy at Zuul as she leaves her pokéball but it passes right through her harmlessly.

- Dazzling gleam!

Dragon pulse!

Zuul lets out a burst of bright pink light and goodra responds with a burst of dragonfire.

- Looks like we could use a boost.

I raise my arm, the keystone on my wrist lights up and Zuul transforms.

- Dazzling gleam…

Dragon pulse!

Zuul lets out a brighter burst of pink light, dragons must really hate that colour because goodra has blacked out.

Go Gardevoir!

- Sludge bomb…

Diantha grasps a pendant hanging from her neck, it appears to have a keystone on it. The pendant glows brightly and gardevoir transforms.

Psychic!

Zuul vomits a huge glob of noxious purple goop all over gardevoir, causing it to revert to it’s previous form and pass out. I start to feel like I might need an antacid.

Well um… congratulations. I suppose you’ll want to see the Hall of Fame now.

Yes, we would like that very much!

- Doc!

You! You’re not supposed to be here!

I suppose not, but neither are you. Something very wrong is happening around here and I think you at least know about it.

Professor Oak picks up the silver orb from the floor.

A fascinating piece of technology. So, why are you here?

That’s… I’m… We’re sent to trouble spots in time. We make sure things go as they should.

I suppose as of right now they aren’t?

Ever since Agent 13 went rogue things have been getting worse. Much worse than any of your interferences.

- Hey, hello? Can I please go home now? Ever since you took me from there I’ve just been following your lead, it’s been fun but I just want to go home now…

Back to Pallet Town?

- No! Don’t you remember I’m not from Kanto? You brought me from my home!

But I first met you in Kanto… Great Scott!

Even we didn’t know that. Professor, could it be that simple?

- What are you talking about?

It seems multiverse theory isn’t as simple as I’d first thought because it looks like we’ve got an honest to Arceus paradox on our hands.

Do you know how to resolve this?

I think so, I just need to make sure. Caldar, could I look at your pokédex for a moment?

- Huh?

What do you want with me?

I need to check your records so I know precisely where I need to go.

- What’s going on?

Look, I’m not really Diantha. I’m just disguised as her. I’m Agent 12.

Hey! Quit poking that!

- Agent 12? Zinnia?

How do you know my name?

- We’ve met before.

Things are just getting worse…

OK I’m ready to go, I’ve got the coordinates.

Great, now how are you going to get there?

- The time machine’s in the hall of fame like usual, right?

Yes, it should be ready to go.

So that’s how you’ve been getting around!

We all walk into the hall of fame and approach the machine. Like it’s some sort of habit I place my pokémon in the allotted pokéball slots. Doc keys in some commands. He turns to hand Dex back to me.

Right, I’ve locked in the coordinates. Before I go, sorry to do this to you Caldar, but I need one more favour of you.

- What…

Another trip?

I just need you to deliver something and then you can go home. I’ve locked out the panel so you don’t accidentally mess it up.

- But…

Oak hits the big red button on the machine and vanishes into a bright light.

Looks like you’re up, come on let’s go.

- Deliver one thing… he didn’t give me anything, so that means I’m going to have to figure it out when I get there.

So?

- And how am I going to get home? Eight more badges… another championship run… putting the lives of more pokémon at risk…

What’re you doing?

I grab a wrench from a toolkit left nearby and step up to the machine…

Hey, hey wait a minute!

- NO MORE!

I smash the machine with the wrench, I hit it over and over. The panel crumples and I keep hitting. Sparks fly, electricity arcs across the metal and I keep hitting. I crack some glowy thing inside and I keep hitting. Zinnia, Agent 12, Diantha or whatever she likes to be called today grabs my arm.

You’ve done it now! Come on, run!

She tries to drag me out of the hall. The machine crackles and hums to life but it sounds wrong, the noise grows louder and before I realise it Zinnia and I are flung from the hall back into the arena.

Woah, crap!

A massive explosion rocks the building and a beam of white light shoots right up into the sky.

Oh, nonono!

A swirling vortex in the sky forms, it looks oddly familiar and reminds me of Mt. Coronet. Something begins to emerge from the vortex.

Such a huge rift! It’s worse than I thought! It’s…

Oh. Your. God…

Arceus emerges from the vortex and lets out an earth shattering roar. The whole building shakes and all the stained glass windows shatter. Arceus builds up some energy and fires a series of bright beams at the building. I can hear the walls crack and dust falls from the roof.

He’s angry! You’ve doomed us all, Caldar!

The roof breaks apart and collapses into the arena. I black out for a moment and I suddenly find myself pinned under a pile of masonry. Zinnia starts helping me to clear the rubble off of me.

You’re not getting away with it that easily. You cause this so you’re going to–

She gasps and stops digging.

- What?

Your leg!

I look down at my leg to find a steel bar piercing my trousers. I grab the bar and try to pull it out.

No don’t! You’ll bleed out!

The bar comes out easily, no blood either. I quickly reach into my pocket to find Dex, I take him out. The bar had snapped him completely in half, his circuits pop and crumble in my hands.

- No…

As I sit there in a daze I fail to notice another vortex forming in what’s left of this room.

Crap, what now?

Arceus begins to charge up another attack. From nowhere a rhydon stomps through at great speed, smashes through the remains of the wall, continues to stampede up a nearby hill and launches itself into the air to slam into Arceus’ side.

What the… who’s that?

As rhydon tumbles back down to earth a familiar red beam touches it, converting it to energy and pulling it into a pokéball. A pokéball in the hand of someone standing in the distance.

Do you know that woman?

The woman in the distance vanishes and Arceus turns it’s attention back to us. It starts to charge up an attack.

Oh crap He’s coming back!

Zekrom! Fusion Bolt!

What the–

Charizard! Fire Blast!

Typhlosion! Fire Blast!

Gardevoir! Moonblast!

Infernape! Focus Blast!

Samurott! Ice Beam!

Greninja! Dark Pulse!

Everyone’s attacks smash into Arceus’ face, interrupting it’s attack and enraging it further.

We’ve got to drive it back into that rift!

Let’s just keep attacking!

You’re talking my kind of language, kid!

I’m not so sure…

Do you think brute force will work?

We could try talking to it.

Screw that!

Another round of attacks from everyone seems to only serve to anger Arceus further, it responds by firing bright beams back at them. Zekrom draws fire from the others while Gardevoir puts a protective bubble around it.

It’s not enough!

Yo Caldar, you gonna help out or just mope in that pile of rocks?

Seriously, what’s wrong with you?

The smaller vortex in the room deepens and a little green fairy pops out of it.

Biii~

Celebi?!

It’s saying it’s sorry for being late.

Bii-biii~!

It’s brought backup!

It’s a psychic type, we can understand it!

Backup?

The small vortex grows wider and several people leap out of it.

OK I’m here. What the hell, is that me over there?!

Well this is confusing. And we’ve got to battle Arceus?!

Wait, one minute I’m zapped by that stupid machine and now I’m here?

This doesn’t look like the Distortion World…

Well, you guys all look familiar.

Why don’t I remember being here five times before?

Oh no, you can’t be serious! You’re just asking for trouble crossing timelines like this!

Bii! Bii~!

You heard the fairy! All for one and one for all! Go Athos, Porthos, Aramis!

Go Colonel!

Go Max!

Go Lennier!

Go Reshiram!

Go Zuul!

I think we can agree on a strategy.

We’re all on the same page!

Hyper Beam!

Arceus fires another series of bright beams but they’re pushed back by everyone else’s hyper beams, which strike Arceus in the face and slowly force it back into it’s rift. Celebi floats up and sprinkles some sparkly stuff towards the rift, somehow closing it.

Biiiiii~!

Looks like we’re done here.

We’ve got to go home so soon?

One by one they all hop into the second rift, without saying a word.

Wait, I don’t have to go do I?

What the hell just happened?

Celebi enters the rift and it closes with a quiet pop.

None of them even said goodbye. Hey, Caldar, did you know those guys?

- …

What’s wrong? You didn’t even help back there.

- He’s dead…

Who?

I hold up Dex’s smashed remains.

Oh… I’m so sorry.

- …

Zinnia spots her silver orb amongst some rubble and picks it up. Immediately a shadowy figure appears above it and silently speaks to her.

Yes sir, I understand. Rifts have been closed, though I lack the instruments to confirm.

The shadow responds.

You want me to what?!

So what’s next for you, Caldar?

- I guess I’ll go home the hard way… what’s a few decades anyway…

You’re not going to look for another of those time machines? The ones in the past, they might still be around today!

- No. No more time travel for me. It’s all over.

I wouldn’t say that so soon.

The adventure concludes here.