Attn. Kanye West: We found a way to help erase your $53 million debt The rap icon recently revealed that he’s having some financial troubles, and we’re stepping in to help.

Mack Gelber, Monster staff

Dear Kanye West,

Don’t listen to the Internet haters. While we might have cautioned you about airing your money troubles over Twitter—employers can see that stuff, you know—we’re sorry to hear that you’re currently $53 million in the hole.

That’s why, rather than subject you to further criticism, we’d like to lend a helping hand. You’ve got an issue with cash flow, and we’ve got a virtually infinite supply of the one thing guaranteed to help correct that: jobs. So we thought we’d give you a quick rundown of some of the great opportunities out there and help you see that there’s hope beyond imploring Mark Zuckerberg to shower you with some of his billions.

Take a look. And if the sales for your new album and line of wearable lawn bags end up lacking, rest assured that there’s still time to go back and get your CPA degree.

Sincerely,

Your friends at Monster

1. Nanny

Your skills as a rapper and producer aside, we’re pretty sure you’d make an awesome nanny. It’s clear that you’re a committed father, and we know you’ve got plenty of experience looking after the offspring of the extended Kardashian clan. You can make solid money as a nanny, too—an average of $15.79 an hour in New York City, according to the New York Post. And that’s not including those free trips to the Hamptons.

2. Ghost Tour Guide

Remember, in your song “Lost in the World,” when you sang about how you were lost in the world? Maybe it’s time you found your way—as a guide for Memphis sightseeing company Backbeat Tours’ ghostly adventure outings! With flexible hours and ample opportunities for showmanship, you’ll thrill young and old with your walking history of the city’s haunted past! Can you say, “Fourfiveseconds…to family-friendly excitement?”

3. Retail Sales Representative – Men’s Wearhouse

We already know you have some experience with the fashion world, so you’re practically a lock for this job with the popular clothing retailer. You might have to work on your customer service skills, but we’re confident that you’ll do a great job helping people pick out that perfect shirt or blazer. Note: Applicants must be comfortable standing for long periods of time. At least that part should sound familiar.

4. At Home Advisor, AppleCare Chat Team

You once told the New York Times that you wanted to be the next Steve Jobs. What better way to do that than by working your way up from the ground floor of Jobs’s own company, all while solving problems and helping users engage with the digital now? Even better, the position gives you the flexibility to work from home—we’re sure they’d be willing to let you work from one of your three pools as well, as long as you still fulfill your shift requirements.

5. Associate Web Editor, Monster

That’s right—we’re hiring! If you think you’ve got what it takes to generate a steady flow of clicky headlines and sparkling career content, then go ahead and send us your resume and any relevant clips of yours (employment-themed raps are also acceptable in this case). Just don’t try to sell us on your communications company—we saw the org chart and no, we’re not interested.