A divide is often drawn between our personal relationships and professional ones. Yet, there are similar principles that can be applied to both these relationships to nurture and strengthen them.

Communication is key

About 90% of problems in any relationship, whether personal or professional, can be put down to misunderstanding as a result of lack of communication. “This is either what is not being said or what’s not being heard, for fear of being judged, criticised, dismissed or not being taken seriously,” says Paula Quinsee, author of Embracing Conflict.

When people don’t feel at ease with one another, it affects the level of communication and honesty in the marriage, for example, professional relationship because both parties want to protect themselves on an emotional level. It’s therefore important to focus on communication: listening, hearing and understanding, rather than listening to respond, prove a point or get the upper hand.

READ MORE: How to make God the centre of your marriage

Resolving conflict

Considering the assortment of personalities in the office environment, conflict is sure to arise. You need to always be mature and calm in order to effectively manage conflict at work, which also applies in relationships.

Fighting with your partner is inevitable, the secret is to learn how to fight fairly so that you don’t end up doing irreparable damage to your relationship. Quinsee says having a positive attitude and mindset is needed both at work and marriage. “Managing conflict is vital, you need to establish how you’re both going to show up in the relationship and find a win-win solution when there are disagreements,” she says. Conflict management also shows that you’re able to overcome problems without letting fights erode the relationship.

Set goals and follow up on them

Our work relationships in terms of performance appraisals, reviews, deliverables and targets – but seldom do we exercise that level of scrutiny when it comes to our personal relationships.

Quinsee says that varies from relationship to relationship, for example you may want to buy a house in three years, which is a goal you’re both working towards as a couple. “Whatever your goal is as a couple, it’s important to sit down and discuss both your needs to establish what steps you need to take to achieve that goal,” she says. At the end of the year, you then look back and review if you’ve achieved those goals together.”

“Remember, it takes two to build a relationship and it takes two to hold each other accountable to uphold your relationship boundaries, to uphold your relationship goals as a couple but also as individuals,” Quinsee says. “There needs to be a commitment to support each other through the relationship.”

Reviewing relationship throughout the year

When in a partnership, you need to constantly evaluate what’s working and what isn’t, how to be a better partner and so on. This ensures that both parties know what is expected to make the marriage succeed.

Monthly or quartely reviews are applicable in the work environment as well, where your manager has to review your performance whether in the form of Key Performance Areas or targets reached.

“Using the same principles for your relationships will make it more successful, treat it with the same seriousness as you would a business meeting, she says. Hold each other accountable for the promises you’ve made and making your relationship a priority in order to have a successful thriving relationship,” she says.