India defeats England with Rohit Sharma,Piyush Chawla and Ashok Dinda in the team and without the services of Zaheer Khan, R Ashwin and Sehwag.



See something wrong with that sentence? Feeling uneasy? Mind baffling? Think there’s a big LOL sign in the end missing? You crack this opening line on ANY comedy show and hands down you’re taking the plaudits on the night. A 10/10 plus a standing ovation is more or less guaranteed. This was a strange day. Balaji with a direct hit, Bhajji gets wickets, Chawla is unplayable and Rohit Sharma gets runs. Many would lose the will to live in such a world.

Also a small observation, after looking at the Srilankan cheergirls you just can't force yourself to blame Ravan for kidnapping Sita maiya. I mean the guy was spoilt for choice more than anything else. You wouldn’t be able to see most of these ladies past 6 pm in India because they’d just blend in so well with the night sky, you’d hardly notice anyone even there.



We were playing Rohit Sharma and Piyush Chawla. A possible explanation is that having Rohit Sharma & Piyush Chawla in the team would lead to both Panauti's cancelling each other out.



So India leaves out its spearhead bowler in Zak, its leading spinner in Ashwin and to top it all off, decides to open the batting with Pathan. Not sure what is a bigger disaster recipe, this or ‘Heroine’. (I’d give to Heroine in the end because you know it sucks more blood out of you in 3 hours than a mosquito will in 300 years but anyways) Coming back to the point in hand, this looked a weak side on paper, one that would have risen more than just eyebrows. (Some Englishmen would surely have had a boner or two after looking at the line up). Kohli with his usual power hitting and with decent support from Gambhir led India to a respectable total by the time they both departed. And as I write this, I want to pinch myself to death because it’s still unbelievable that Rohit Sharma proved to be our savior and guided us past the 150 mark with a great, sensible and gritty half century. Dhoni can seriously go screw himself for his recent performances. In the end putting up a fighting total of 170.

A great start with Pathan swinging it this way, that way, pretty much every way and soon had a couple wickets in the bag. Then came the sitara, the sardara the one and only sahara to this bowling line up. Harbhajan Singh, making his comeback into the national team weaved his magic around the English batsmen and each wicket was a ‘balle balle’ treat to the eyes. The singh truly proved to be the King after he ripped through the England batting line up and even left the pieces for Chawla to pick. That’s right; the duo bowled a tight line with great variations that had the batsmen looking for the ball like a virgin looking for that hidden G-spot.



The white face of angrez batsmen was soon turning red and with our dilwa beating fast, very happy in our hearts, the Indian hearts were maaring dance. An orgasmic display of spin bowling between Bhajji and Chawla made sure India were good value for money and comfortably ended any chances of England topping the group.

A great way to head into the super eights but with tougher and more experienced teams waiting in the stands, it’s time to stop experimenting with the lineup and stick to a steady game plan. Hopefully, we will be going in with 5 bowlers and for the love of the game, keep that helicopter shot babe away from the batting crease since it seriously is not doing any good. Dhoni needs to take Ranbir's advice. It's T20. Yaha na tameez se dekha jata hai. Na tameez se khela jata hai.