Marvel recently announced that actor Anson Mount has been cast in the largely mute role of Black Bolt in the Inhumans TV show, debuting later this year on ABC. As king of the secretive superhuman race, and as the wielder of a voice that can level cities, Black Bolt is one of the most powerful characters in the Marvel Universe, able to hold his own against tough guys like Hulk, Thor, and even Thanos. He also boasts the slickest superhero costume Jack Kirby ever designed.

But none of that is the best thing about Black Bolt. The best thing about Black Bolt is that his real name is Blackagar Boltagon.

That kooky name, presumably retrofitted onto the character as if to justify his non-sequitur codename, is one of the most ridiculous ideas ever dreamed up in superhero comics. In fact it's the sort of detail that can divide comics fans between those who think the name is so stupid that it destroys all suspension of disbelief, and those who think it's blissfully, transcendently, wonderfully stupid. After all, superheroes aren't meant to be conventional.

It seems unlikely that ABC will ever be bold enough to use the name Blackagar Boltagon in live action, but we're keeping our fingers crossed that they do! In fact, we're such fans of the name that we thought we'd apply its basic principles to some other great comics characters to see how it sits on them.

Yes, we did this 100 times. And we still don't think it gets old.

Silvergar Surfergon

Squirrelgar Girlagon

Auntagar Mayagon

Batagar Managon

Managar Batagon

Brothergar Voodoogon

Mistergar Sinistergon

Ghostagar Ridergon

Spidergar Gwenagon

Gwenagar Poolagon

Howardagar the Duckagon

D-gar Managon

Adamagar Warlockagon

Hellagar Boyagon

Dickagar Tracygon

Mistergar Fantasticagon

Littlegar Lulugon

Doctorgar Strangeagon

Moonagar Dragonagon

Moonagar Boyagon

Devilgar Dinosauragon

Gargar Fieldagon

Songagar Birdagon

Msagar Marvelagon

Daregar Devilagon

Foggygar Nelsonagon

Xagar 23agon

Judgegar Dreddagon

Redagar Tornadogon

Greenagar Arrowagon

Longagar Shotagon

Deadagar Shotagon

Incrediblegar Hulkagon

Shegar Hulkagon

Marvel Comics

Jagar Jonahgon Jameson

Doctorgar Bongagon

Godagar Zillagon

Wildagar Dogagon

Kryptogar the Superdogagon

Irongar Heartagon

Snowagar Flameagon

Xemnugar the Titanagon

Redagar Ravenagon

Maximusagar the Madagon

Jugagar Headagon

Harleygar Quinnagon

Draxagar the Destoyeragon

Waragar Machineagon

Nightagar Wingagon

Nightagar Thrasheragon

Nightagar Nurseagon

Managar Wolfagon

Madagar Thinkeragon

Rubygar Thursdayagon

Martianagar Manhunteragon

Deadagar Poolagon

Sabrinagar the Teenage Witchagon

Doctorgar Doomagon

Loisagar Laneagon

Nitegar Owlagon

Phantomgar Strangergon

Romagar Spaceknightagon

Honeyagar Lemonagon

Theagar Thingagon

Swampagar Thingagon

Managar Thingagon

Thorgar Odinsonagon

Marvel Comics

Firegar Stormagon

Redagar Beeagon

Pipagar the Trollagon

Rocketagar Raccoonagon

Biagar Beastagon

Namoragar the Submarineragon

Crimsonagar Foxagon

Crimsonagar Cowlagon

Crimsonagar Commandogon

Crimsonagar Avengeragon

Crimsonagar Dynamogon

Arsegar Facegon

Dogagar Welderagon

Matteragar Eateragon Lad

Captainagar Britainagon

Captainagar Boomerangagon

Monarkagar Starstalkeragon

Klarionagar the Witchboyagon

Darkagar Hawkagon

Ka-agar Zaragon

Flagagar Smasheragon

Kingagar Sharkagon

Angaragar the Screameragon

Poisonagar Ivygon

Shattergar Staragon

Finagar Fangagon Foom

Tawkyagar Tawnyagon

Shrinkingar Violetagon

Gorillagar Groddagon

Charliegar Brownagon

Googamagar Son of Goomagon

Mistergar Mxyzptlkagon

Lockagar Jawagon

You're welcome.

Marvel Comics