So that happened! Last night saw the return of AMC’s The Walking Dead, after the mid-season finale left us all desperate for our weekly fix of genre TV. We here at Cheat Code Central have decided to give our own take on AMC’s zombie apocalypse. Beginning this week with “The Suicide King”, we will be recapping all of the action, drama, sucktastic revelations, and, of course, Rick’s mental breakdowns.

Oh, and this pretty much goes without saying: There are massive SPOILERS ahead.

The Great Escape – This episode begins exactly where we left off in December.

The Governor pits brother against brother in a fight to the death in the walker fight club pit. Merle attacks first to prove his loyalty to Woodbury, but soon informs Daryl to follow his lead and that they are getting out of there. The onlookers seem unfazed by the display, as the Dixons (in a true display of back-to-back badassery) fight off the walkers with their bare hands and Merle’s steely nub. The Cavalry (Rick and Maggie) arrive and the breakout ensues. Smoke grenades cover the escape while Daryl recovers his crossbow in spectacular fashion—with an awesome redneck smack spin move to disarm the poor sap that was holding it. Needless to say, the Governor is not pleased.

Merle helps their saviors escape Woodbury, leaving a gaping hole in the perimeter. Once outside the town, Merle stirs up trouble for the group when meeting up with Glenn, Maggie, and Michonne. Rick gives him a well-deserved pistol whip to the back of the head.

The Sherriff is clearly done putting up with Merle’s crap, and it’s about damn time. Rick and company decide Merle can’t come to the prison, and Daryl, staying true to his blood, protests. The Dixons walk away as the rest of the group heads back to the prison. Rick tells Michonne that once they patch her up, she’s gone—sorry, but take your samurai sword and get the hell out.

On the way back to the prison, our ragtag team is stopped by a roadblock, and after Glenn shows off his newly acquired kick-ass zombie killin’ skills, Rick and Glenn get into heated argument about how pointless the rescue was.