STEVEN Gerrard is responsible not only for Liverpools poor start to the season but all war, disease and famine, it has been claimed.

Researchers believe that the former England midfielders ability to lose possession and fall over at key moments is merely the outermost fringe of a massive favourable outcome vacuum.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: He is a jinx on a global scale.

Whether its a half-witted attempt to head the ball that sets up a calamitous goal or a hurricane on the other side of the planet, all bad occurrences stem from Gerrard.”

The solution to what the UN has labelled the G factor is not immediately apparent.

A UN spokesman said: We cant nuke him as its not really his fault. Perhaps he could be locked away in a lead box buried deep within the earth.

Give him some football magazines and a torch to read them by, meanwhile all war will cease and the sun shine brightly forever.