Every Monday and Thursday I publish a new article on SamuelThomasDavies.com…

…And every Monday and Thursday, somebody unsubscribes. Sometimes many readers unsubscribe.

This used to really bother me. “Am I a poor writer?” “Is it something I said?” “Did I do something wrong?”

But then I read Seth Godin’s Tribes and realised something important, something we can all use…

You Need a Loyal Tribe

“A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea”, writes Godin. [1]

A community needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate.

If you’re a regular reader of my blog, you’re probably interested in improving habits, adding new skills and sustaining excellence.

Like you, I also want to improve my performance, grow my career and gain a competitive edge in life.

And by publishing a new article every Monday and Thursday, I have a way to communicate what works for me, and what will work for you, too. You can reply to my email newsletter, or connect with me on Twitter and we can have a conversation.

But our shared interest, this blog, it isn’t for everyone. The lesson here is people don’t unsubscribe from your blog, dislike you, “reject you”, demote you, say, “You can’t do it” etc. because they have a problem with you, dislike you, have an agenda, or any other reason – it’s because they’re not in your tribe.

And do you know what? That’s fine, because you’re not in theirs either.

For every person who says, “No”, “I’m not interested”, “This isn’t for me” and, “You can’t do it”, is someone who’s ready to take their place and support you…

…You just have to find them.

Are You a Leader or a Follower?

As a coach, I help clients overcome their fears. They’re afraid of approaching strangers, afraid of “rejection”, afraid of success, etc.

Everyone is afraid of something. And if you’re afraid, it’s because you feel you need something. Approval. Love. Respect. Validation. And if it isn’t provided, you feel like you don’t belong.

But you don’t feel fear when you’re searching, when you’re actively looking for people who are on your wavelength, who might be in your tribe.

As someone who’s searching, you don’t need to convince or persuade people to hire you, signup, say, “Yes”, approve your loan application, date you and so on, because you know what you want.

You want people to join your tribe because they want to, because you’re a leader and they want to follow you, because they believe in you and what you can offer.

Examples…

Dating. Your date didn’t return your call? Don’t fret; it isn’t you (and it isn’t even him). You’re simply in different tribes. Find someone who is in your tribe and never feel rejected again.

Entrepreneurship. A “loyal” customer leaves you for a major competitor. That’s okay; forgive them and accept your offer wasn’t for them. Look after your “true fans” and they’ll look after you.

Career. You spend one third of your life working. Are your coworkers people you’d want in your tribe? If not, quit. You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with, so choose those people wisely. As Godin writes, “You’re not lucky to have this job, they’re lucky to have you”. [2]

The world needs more artists, creatives, entrepreneurs and risk-takers, and less “sheepwalkers” – people who flee from resistance, rather than lean.

You don’t need to follow others. You can become a leader, but you have to be able to lead yourself. Lean into your fear. Raise your hand. Choose yourself. In other words, go first.

Set an example and others will follow.

P.S.

If you read this blog, thank you for caring and joining our community, it’s a privilege to have you here.

Sources [1] Godin, S. (2008) Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us, London: Penguin Books Ltd. [2] Godin, S. (2013) Every day is an investment, Available at: http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2013/05/every-day-is-an-investment.html (Accessed: 4th May 2015).

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