Deal with difficult emotions

Cope with the reactions of others

Distract yourself from pain if flared-up

Lessen pain naturally

“When our troubled, painful experiences are framed by the recognition that countless others have undergone similar hardships, the blow is softened.” Shift from a place of mentally scolding yourself to one of treating yourself kindness with compassion—especially at this time of year.

3 Ghosts of Escape & Distraction [After Overdoing it]

Sometimes you know you’ll exceed your own pacing limitations, and this time of year it’s a near certainty. Although these ways to cope, and calm pain are useful no matter the season, they become invaluable when pain is fervent but you’re expected to somehow keep going.

1. Take ‘Comedy’ Pacing Breaks

2. Listen to Audiobooks

I LOVE audiobooks. When it’s too painful to hold a book/ebook reader or difficult to focus, and my body flared-up, next to guided meditations — also wonderful when pain’s at that crazy level — having fiction read to you, or learning through non-fiction audiobooks helps you cope, while bringing you a little joy and respite. “If I simply turn out the lights and try to go to sleep, I can feel my stress level rise as I begin to worry about how long it’s going to take me to doze off, given my usual parade of evening symptoms: heart pounding, headache, painful neurological sensations,” says Toni Bernhard. “Instead of worrying, I put on a audiobook, and then I don’t care how long it takes to get to sleep. Audiobooks are indispensable to me.”

3. Escape to Calm the Pain & Watch a Favourite Film

For both the welcome distraction they give you from the pain, and the joy inherent in watching your favourite flicks, putting on a movie is one of the finest ways to cope with pain at any time of the year, not only in the winter months. “Mine is Best in Show. It’s a Christopher Guest “mockumentary” about a dog show,” says Toni Bernhard. “Any of you who’ve seen it will know why it’s a good choice for the role of “cheering up.” I know every line of dialogue in the movie and every sound that emanates from the canines, but this knowledge only enhances my enjoyment.” I laughed even in reading this as all Christopher Guest’s mockumentaries are in my collection of “flare-up” films. They’re hilarious.

Perhaps a romantic film or historical drama more suits your mood. Do be aware that a high action or adrenaline-fuelled film has an equally stimulating effect on your brain. More specifically the amygdala, which if you have centralised pain or a condition with overactivity in the amygdala (brain’s fear centre), these films aren’t the ideal choice if flared-up . Whatever you wish to watch, set yourself up or ask for assistance if necessary. Lie on your heat pads if they help you, and enjoy the distraction as much as you can.

3 Ghosts of [Mis]Understanding—Coping with ‘Advice’ & Disbelief Here are three suggestions to help your loved-ones understand, and hopefully, not be quite so offended when, for instance, you need to cancel at the last moment because of a flare, have to disappear and recuperate, or respectfully decline their ‘advice’. 1. Dealing with Health Advice with Calm Equipose Everyone with chronic illness and pain is familiar with being offered advice on everything from what we should be doing, to what we should stop, to treatments that will cure them, to humbler, perhaps more helpful suggestions. Sometimes others take offence if we’re not striping our diets of gluten or testing out a certain practice or therapy. Other times, it can become tiresome, or as if we’re not already doing everything within our power to cope, manage, and heal — even if it comes from the kindest of places — yet, surely this is the one thing that cures the incurable or stops pain in a fundamentally altered nervous system that’s caught in its own loop. “I often just mumble, “Thanks,” but sometimes I muster the courage to say: “I appreciate your attempt to help, but I’d rather talk about something other than my health”; or “I appreciate your suggestion, but my doctor and I already have a treatment plan and I want to stick to it. To my surprise, so far, this response has been well-received. Family and friends who offer unsolicited advice have the best of intentions. Their hearts are in the right place: they’re as frustrated as I am that I’m chronically ill,” says Toni Bernhard. “When I get up the nerve to be honest with them about not wanting unsolicited advice, they’re actually relieved, as if they’d felt obligated to try and help in this way, but have been let off the hook. Some can’t resist giving advice or bringing us cures. For them, that “Thank you” followed by shoving it under the bed (metaphorically or literally) works better.” For more tips on this topic, read: 4 Tips for Dealing with Unsolicited Health Advice.