Welcome. Some years ago when I was yet fully Christian in my beliefs, I wrote the following sentiment on a card and posted it in my home: "I would rather know a fearful truth than remain deceived

by comforting falsehoods." I was quite sincere in that desire to know the real truth, but little did I fathom the journey I would soon take, nor did I anticipate in the least the nature of the truths that would be revealed to someone who actually sought them. The things I learned would take me on an amazing journey from holding a traditional Christian belief structure to a new, surprising, and far broader understanding of human nature, history, and endeavor - a view that can only include Christianity and its God as part of a large collection of sibling myths, connected to far older ideas and beliefs that stretch back into the mists of ancient human society. My sojourn would take a man devoted to Christianity and to the God of the Bible and unceremoniously set him down in the simple dirt of Earth with nothing of his familiar mental world left to comfort him. It took some time to turn myself away from fear and grief and to finally begin to rebuild a life of peace and of true joy. I can only partially share my journey with you here, but this is a voyage others have also taken, and although our pathways and the views we have gained may differ in some ways, it is the journeying that matters, along with the principal of shedding our illusions. These illusions have not only bound us, but in many real ways defined us prior to that search for truth. This is not an easy road. The words "fearful", "shocking", and "surprising" are frequently applied when one's personal paradigms of religion and philosophy of life are challenged and changed. When this happens to us, we must learn to deal with our fears by examining them and talking about them. This, too, is part of the passage. I approached this project with some trepidation, for as the author of a book on the New Testament and after a life of devotion to Christianity, I had much invested in my prior philosophy of things. I am still on my journey. Perhaps, you are also going down this road. If so, you may find comfort or helpful insights from someone else who has traveled this way. Perhaps this is part of my new purpose now - to present my thoughts and experiences and ask you to respond in kind - for I hope to learn from you as well. To use the old religious term, we can minister to one another and help each other navigate these often difficult waters. I have said that we have been bound and defined by our past illusions. The task at hand is to redefine ourselves and our purpose in this life. Not a purpose or a definition imposed from outside ourselves, but rather one developed and nurtured by us. This becomes truly joyful when we realize that we are unbound, awake, and limited only by our own fears. - David P. Crews

2002, Austin, Texas