This week the American Mustache Institute was contacted by a student at Russell-Tyler-Ruthton (RTR) High School in Tyler, Minnesota, who believes RTR discriminates against Mustached American lifestyles in what are meant to be public institutions, free of bias. AMI sent the following correspondence to RTR Schools Superintendent Bruce Houck.

Mr. Houck,

The American Mustache Institute was recently made aware of a policy of discrimination against people of Mustached American descent who attend Russell-Tyler-Ruthton (RTR) schools. To wit, within the handbook of your public school district exists a rule requiring the shaving of said facial hair in order to play in any Minnesota State High School League sponsored event although the MSHSL eligibility standards state nothing about a need to be clean shaven in order to participate in such activities.

The enforcement of said discriminatory policy is so extreme that your student-athletes have regularly been made to shave before being allowed to participate in RTR sports activities, which is unacceptable to people of Mustached American heritage and civil libertarians everywhere.

Furthermore, while your district has suggested in the past that neither teachers nor students shall shed their rights of speech of expression at the threshold of an institute of learning, you do not extend this same benefit to people who wish to lead a Mustached American lifestyle, which we believe to be a stark violation of our American civil liberties and contradict the principles of rugged good looks.

As an academic institution of freedom and handsomeness, the staff and administration of the American Mustache Institute appreciates that you place an “emphasis on continual personal, professional, and organizational improvement” and ”realize that developing each child’s potential in the key to our future, and, therefore, every child is vitally important…” However, restricting the growth, masculinity, earning potential and civil liberties of your student body — while disallowing them to experience their ordained heritage as people of Mustached American descent — flies in the face of such stated values.

We ask that you live your stated mission, and understand that if today’s youth are to excel, they must have the personal freedom to live a lifestyle that embodies those freedoms more than anything else.

You’re welcome,

Dr. Adam Paul Causgrove

Chief Executive Officer

Your American Mustache Institute

877-STACHE-1