If only people were as appalled about women being used as punchbags, as they are about the possibility of men being taken for a ride, says Sali Hughes

Imagine you’re in a pub, having a quiet drink, and a woman walks in with bruises down her face, and says, “Can you please keep my husband away from me? He did this.” You’d believe her, right? Sit her down, order her a brandy, call the police and give her your coat to keep her from shivering? It wouldn’t occur to you to wonder if she was the kind of person who’d make up a monstrous lie. And even if it did, would you ever apply that same suspicion to a victim of burglary, armed robbery or mugging? I’m guessing no.

Pity that the same sense of common courtesy is not being extended to actress Amber Heard, a woman we’ll never meet who saw her allegations of domestic violence at the hands of husband Johnny Depp leaked from the legitimate legal process she was following (during which, she presented formal evidence and was granted a restraining order by a court of law), then plonked on every front page and social-media platform for the public to dissect, challenge and find her lacking in either morality or credibility.

The tabloids gave us their strange take on a woman with large bruises and red scuffs down one side of her face: “Did Amber Heard’s Lesbian Friends Have An Impact On Her Marriage?” (Hollywood Life). “Johnny Depp’s Lawyer Says Amber Heard is Making Allegations To Gain An Upper Hand In Her Divorce” (People Magazine). Practically every British tabloid raised its eyebrow at Heard’s Instagram snap taken the day after the alleged offence, her hair pointedly arranged to cover her injuries, smiling with her girlfriends – suggesting strongly that not one of the journalists involved has the slightest experience of either the cycle of abuse or the nature of female friendships, particularly during a personal crisis.

Over on social media, plaintiff immediately became defendant in the public court, with users wondering aloud whether the act of hurling a smartphone at someone’s face while feeling upset about your dying mother could really be classed as domestic violence anyway. No fists, no dice, it would seem. Try telling that to my friend who had her guitar whacked across her back when her boyfriend was depressed from longterm unemployment, or another girlfriend who was hit with a shower head because she’d asked her drunk husband where he’d been for three days. The terror and the bruising are in no way diminished by the degree of separation afforded by an inanimate object, and certainly not by the emotional vulnerability of your raging assailant.

Fortune favours the famous male perpetrator, sometimes much more so than it does the woman terrorised at his hands

Photo: Amber Heard

But no matter, because next came the cavalry of celebrities with their unique insight into Depp’s every move. His ex, Vanessa Paradis, loyally leapt to his defence – entirely understandable, only she was neither in their relationship nor present when Heard says the offence took place. Less honourably, Depp’s friends Terry Gilliam (who, memorably, also felt the need to slam Michelle Williams when the father of her child, Heath Ledger, died of a self-inflicted overdose) and Doug Stanhope (piss-poor purveyor of jokes about beating prostitutes) took to Twitter to assure us all that Johnny was a man packed with moral fibre, while Amber – not so much.

While Gilliam claimed Heard must be “a better actress than I thought”, and Stanhope accused her of blackmailing and gold digging (even before her marriage to Depp, Heard’s net personal wealth was estimated at $4.5m. Not that this matters – I’m no millionaire but if my rich husband beat me, and other more powerful members of our profession turned so vociferously against me, I’m pretty sure I’d want some cash too). This persistent belief that what any woman desires and needs more than dignity, self respect or justice is a rich man’s money prevails in so many alleged cases of monstrous abuse and rape. If only people were as appalled about women being used as punchbags, as they are about the possibility of men being taken for a ride.