Failure’s a bitch. There is no doubt about it. Thomas Edison would agree. Einstein would second the sentiment. In fact, I would venture to say: for every success story there is at least one equivalent failure.

The world has a funny way of balancing itself out in the long run.

Case study. In the past, my days consisted of hunting for new fast food establishments to sample and fantasizing about what I would do with a million dollars - should it somehow manage to fall into my lap. Failure was not only inevitable, but an integral part of my existence. It became the dickhead coworker who can’t seem to read social cues.

That mental parking ticket. Just waiting to fuck up your day.

So, after hitting rock bottom and losing a budding career, I decided to make a drastic change. Failure was bound to be there. The question was: how could I use it to better myself? There was a sudden realization that, by accepting my pitfalls and answering key questions, I could flip the script on failure and use it as a tool for future success.

No longer would I subject myself to the slavery of disappointment.

Below are FOUR steps you can take to learn from any failure:

[STEP 1] ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

“The way in which a man accepts his fate, and all the suffering it entails, gives him ample opportunity to add a deeper meaning to his life. Even under the most difficult circumstances.” - Viktor Frankl

First and foremost, acknowledge the situation as a failure. Stop living in denial. It’s not that it’s always your fault. Sometimes you do, in fact, draw the shorter straw. Such is life. However, this doesn’t make it any less of a failure. Could there have been a more positive outcome? If so, accept that realization and move forward.

[STEP 2] INTROSPECTION

“We learn from failure much more than from success. He who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.” - Samuel Smiles

Ask yourself key questions. What ultimately led to the failure? Is there anything that could have been done differently? What events might have been imperative in preventing the situation entirely? I try to divide each of my failures into two spheres of influence or control:

- THE EXTERNAL There was an external factor that produced the outcome. How did my environment play a role? Who else was responsible for the decision? What were the crucial warning signs that were ignored? - THE INTERNAL There was an internal factor that produced the outcome. What could I have done differently? Are there choices I made, against my better judgement? How did my behaviors influence the result?

Failures may consist of both external and internal factors. The point here is to discover your demons - those negative variables that drive the outcome or result. You have to diagnose before you can cure.

[STEP 3] CHANGE

“You will either step forward into growth,

or you will step back into safety.” - Abraham Maslow

This is, quite possibly, the most important step in the process. The difference between knowledge and wisdom is the ability to implement what you have learned. Apply everything you’ve uncovered - of value.

Plain and simple: get rid of the negative things that impact your life. Whether it be your attributes, environment, or relationships. Build new, more positive habits. It may not be comfortable or easy, but it is necessary. Repeat steps one and two, if and when applicable.

[STEP 4] REFLECTION

“It’s a failure only if you don’t get anything out of it.” - Ben Carson

An overlooked, but integral, step in setting smart goals is finding a system to track your progression. This will serve as its own method of introspection and help you discard what’s not working. Did you make the same mistakes? What did you learn and how will you apply those lessons in the future? Success is about repetition - then reflection.

[BONUS] COURSE CORRECTION

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” - Thomas Edison

Your life will consist of a series of successes and failures. These experiences will lead you to invaluable insights and help secure future achievements. Learn to accept failure and the change it brings. Absorb every drop of wisdom you can from the situation and use it as a tool to become a better you. Failure’s a bitch. Make it your bitch.