So, here's what's going on: Nico began growing a mustache for Movember on November 1st. This is what it looked like as of yesterday, November 6.

Wow. That is pathetic. Can you even see a mustache in that picture? If my son can't grow a better 'stache than that by the time he's four, I'm taking him to the doctor to be checked for " Low T ."

The challenge is, how many days will it take me to pass Nico? I just shaved last night and this is what I looked like:

Buzz Adams

Smooth as a baby's bottom. My guess is that my mustache will surpass Nico's NO LATER than this Friday. And I'm not even all that hirsute. I have friends that can go full mountain man in less than a week. My friend Lou Romano from KFOX-TV can grow a full beard just by thinking about it really hard. You can see it growing in front of your eyes like a Playdough Barber Shop commercial from the 1970s: