January 22, 2014 The Onion released an article, Woman Takes Short Half-Hour Break From being a Feminist To Enjoy TV Show, and while I thought this was a very funny article, it lead me to a thought that I haven’t discussed before: The feminist guilt. As a liberal feminist surrounded by other liberal feminists for most of my day, there are many ongoing conversations about the personal being political, and the guilt felt for not being feminist enough. It often feels as though your feminist self is constantly visible, and often, under a microscope.

Guilt #1: The Feminist Who Likes Not-Feminist-Friendly Entertainment

Everyone has guilty pleasure T.V. shows, novels, music, curse words and movies that bring forth little or no change for social justice. Whether they have underwritten female characters, extreme violence, traditional and unquestioned gender representation, are too silly and outlandish to even maintain character themes much less a concise idea of politics or are a truly progressive and honest representation of femininity and masculinity while maintaining an authenticity and dramatic story line, you, as a feminist, still have every right to enjoy these programs guilt free, especially if you continue to dialogue about the shortcomings or perseverance of said show (or novel, song, movie, etc.).

Guilt #2: The Feminist Who Really Wants To Be Married And Have Lotsa Babies

There should be no guilt for this thought at all. I understand where it comes from, feeling a responsibility to not succumb to patriarchal ideals and to maintain autonomy (which is very much a modern privilege in our society and one to be appreciated), but one of the most prevalent themes behind feminism is allowing the courteous thought that women can and should make their own decisions without judgment or unwarranted responsibility to act on behalf of all women or feminists in the world. You can very easily hold your child or children on a hip while you wave your feminist flag.

Guilt #3: The Feminist Who Chose Not To Have An Abortion

This falls a bit closer to a dialogue about guilty feelings than true guilt, but there are feminists out there who have decided in a plethora of complicated situations to continue with pregnancy rather than to terminate and afterward felt residual guilt, like hypocrisy. Pro-choice feminists who consider having an abortion and decide to have a baby sometimes think they are sending mixed messages to the non-feminist-thinking world. They, in the guilt center, feel as if they have gone back on their politics, but here is why this guilt must be erased:

-Pro-choice is the thought process that women are more than able to make responsible and reliable choices when it comes to pregnancy.

-Pro-choice feminism covers all choices— to rear and not to rear.

Guilt #4: The Feminist Who Blends Into Hegemonic Society

Sometimes being a progressive-cis-gendered-heterosexual-able-bodied-middle-class-feminist is complicated. When working for social change within your daily life, sometimes there is a guilt felt about being somewhat heteronormative. In the 1970s, the movement of Lavender Menace ensued which brought about the secondary perspective that there is a “one-size fits-all” feminist thought approach. This thought process is too constrictive and really limits the movements’ possibilities. The feminist has no certain appearance, sex, preference, characteristic or gender identity. The feminist has a singular vision of equality—that is all. There isn’t a certain amount of minority to be fulfilled or correct genitalia; that would defeat the entire purpose. Feminists, rest assured; as long as you are educating and living with purpose, you’re doing plenty of work. Just focus on making the world a safer place for the people who do not have the freedoms you have and for yourself.

Guilt #5: The Feminist Who Loves Romantic Comedies, Looking Fancy And All Quintessential “Girl-Things” (pertaining mostly to people who identify as “woman”)

There is a notion that partaking in the binary gender system is setting back the pioneering efforts of many strong feminists from our past and future. While this can sometimes be true, liking “girl-things” is not one of these instances. The binary gender system is very detrimental. It is a tool for Patriarchal society to maintain its strength by relying on the ideal that women are “naturally” one way and men are “naturally” the other. This closed-minded and misguided representation of gender is ludicrous, however. When working against the binary system, authenticity is the only true source of truth and enlightenment. A feminist can enjoy any pleasures from Tonka trucks to lace just like everyone else on the planet.

Moreover, there is a constant battle between the knowledgeable feminist and our societal upbringing. We are constantly trying to progress but still have to revisit thoughts and ideas because we are still products of a socialized patriarchal society. As feminists we shouldn’t feel guilty for our choices or our brand of feminism. We are all working very hard to make our world a safer place, a place with more options, and we are making it happen. Hands up for the feminist who feels like her efforts go unnoticed and her voice goes unheard. #feelnoguiltfeminist

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